My Friend’s Pain in the Church

Henry Makori – My friend and I call him the Africa Editor in Heaven’s Newsroom. Peter, as I shall call him (because I do not wish to reveal his real name), was in his late 30s when we first met. A very neat and calm gentleman with a wide smile and a boundless sense of humour, he looked every inch a Catholic priest. But Peter was a Catholic journalist. We easily became friends.

Not long afterwards, I heard in our office that Peter was a former priest. My ears flapped in disbelief. But though we spoke freely, I shied away from asking him about it because I had never met an ex-priest. I also feared I could hurt him by asking, in case he had not fully recovered from the trauma of his quitting. And, to be honest, I had concluded he had done a horrible thing abandoning his holy calling.

In 2006, Peter went on his annual leave, but he did not return. Soon after, he told us he had found a better job. We were very happy for him. (We all endured, not enjoyed, our salaries.) And then Peter was diagnosed with cancer and hospitalised. We visited him. At his bedside was a woman. Peter, not very much bothered with his terrible illness, introduced her as his wife, of course with a joke or two.

Several years before he had decided to leave the priesthood. He requested to be released from the clerical state, but the Church authorities were still studying his file. Meanwhile, he moved on with his life. He secured a job with the Church as a journalist and got married. They had a little daughter.

Peter recovered and returned to work, but for only a short time. He was back in hospital again, seriously ill. One day the bad news came. Peter had died. The funeral in his rural home was a dismal affair. The Church authorities and the many priests, nuns and religious who knew him stayed away.

I remember my late friend Peter in this Year for Priests because in Africa today there are clergy who find themselves in a situation similar to his. Those who want to leave the clerical state find it very difficult. In his autobiography, the retired archbishop of Nairobi, Ndingi Mwana, a Nzeki, recounts how he tried to stop a priest from quitting, including sending him away to another diocese and outside the country for studies. But still the priest married the nun he had had a child with.

And then there are priests who want to have a wife and continue serving. Because this is not possible in current Church practice, they leave to form or join splinter churches. There have been several such cases in Kenya and other countries. Perhaps the biggest ever exodus in Africa was the departure of 20 priests in Uganda in January.

The Catholic Church has its own valid reasons for insisting on clerical celibacy, although we know that this is not a doctrine but ecclesiastical discipline. As my friend Peter would have joked, it is not necessary to the priesthood or for salvation. But Catholics cannot ignore the fact that celibacy has caused misery to some people and that it is causing division within the Church.

Yes, it may be true that priests who have difficulties with celibacy are only a few and that most priests live their celibacy joyfully. Yes, no one is forced into a celibate priesthood. And indeed, throughout history there have been Christians who found difficulties with a certain Church practice, so this is nothing new. The mere fact that a practice makes demands on us is no good reason to reject it. Moreover, the Church has withstood a lot of arguments and splits down the ages.

We must, however, admit that mandatory celibacy for priests is a really divisive issue. The priests who quit may be few but, as Jesus teaches, the Good Shepherd is never content because he has 99 sheep and only one has strayed. Instead, he leaves the 99 in the hills and does not return until he has found the one that strayed (Matt. 18:12-14).

My friend Peter, Heaven’s Africa Editor, went to his grave without the Church granting his request to be freed from mandatory clerical celibacy. Today, there are priests in a similar situation. Others do not really practise celibacy and would be happy to serve the Church while married.

Is it not time the Church, like the Good Shepherd, ventured out of its own territory to search for the stray sheep? Isn’t the present crisis a call to the Church to attempt new thinking about mandatory priestly celibacy?