Avoid violent thoughts and actions

Newly released South African crime statistics indicate that crime and violence is on the rise, with security experts saying these are the “worst figures seen in 10 years”. I was very sad to read that there was no significant decrease in violence against women and children.

Violent thoughts lead to violent words and actions, and we need to make sure, starting in the home, that we make the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts acceptable to God. (Photo: Debbie Hill/CNS)

Most violence takes place between people who know each other and live in the same neighbourhood. This kind of violence takes place for a number of reasons, including the fact that we accept violence as a normal and reasonable way to solve problems, at home, at school and in our neighbourhoods.

Why has violence become normal? If something is normal and acceptable it means we do it without much thinking, because it is already part of our psyche and therefore a normal response to situations.

Violence is also in our language. We can easily talk about “I’ll kill two birds with one stone”. Or when it is time to have serious negotiations we’ll talk about “We’ll have to bring out the big guns now”. This is how we think and speak, and for me, that is where the violence starts.

I once heard a man saying to a woman, “You must be careful, one day you will get a fist in your face”. I felt a nauseating feeling in my stomach, just listening to the words. No fist has landed in anyone’s face, yet the words were enough to scare me. Just to picture a fist landing on a woman’s face is so violent.

Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, once said: “… Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions”.

I remember years ago we loved the song by Boney M By the Rivers of Babylon, and I particularly loved singing the words “Let the words of our mouth, and the meditation of our hearts, be acceptable in Thy sight, here tonight…”

At that time I did not know that these words were taken from Psalm 137—I just loved singing the song, it had such a catchy tune.

In the psalm it is stated much more radically: “Let my tongue cleave to my mouth, if I remember you not”. Imagine what would happen if every time we spoke violent words our tongues cleaved to our mouths.

Lao Tzu’s wisdom is a good guide for us. Life happens and we get pushed into thinking things that we would rather not implement. This happens to us all the time. When we are hurt and angry we might think of doing something violent, we speak violently and then, most unfortunately, we act out violence. Don’t be fooled by thinking that violence is only in a physical act. The violence of non-affirmation, of underappreciation, of no acknowledgement, of subtly insulting and degrading comments, is rife.

Violence hurts. Every time we do one of the above we make a decision to hurt. We decide not to affirm, we decide not to acknowledge, that this is violent: “Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions.”

The solution to a deep history of violence, especially against women and children, lies in our own thoughts, words and actions. Nowhere else. Every year in the Budget speech we hear about how much funding has been allocated to the police department and to the department of women and children to bring an end to violence.

The services offered by these departments are crucial but we cannot just throw money at the problem and rely on government departments and other organisations alone to solve the problem.

There is a much more simple, sweet and easily affordable solution and that is to make the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts acceptable to Him.