Children’s letters to God will put you in the picture

The latter is particularly pleasurable just after a holiday when even the simplest task is like climbing Mount Everest backwards with a kitbag full of bricks.

One of my favourite websites is www.catholic-pages.com, on which I found this delightful litany of children’s letters to God:

Dear God, in school they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on holiday? Jane

Dear God, I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison

Dear God, my brother told me about being born but it doesn’t sound right. They’re just kidding, aren’t they?  Marsha

Dear God, if you watch me in church on Sunday, I’ll show you my new shoes. Mickey D.

Dear God, are you really invisible or is that just a trick?  Lucy

Dear God, is it true my father won’t get to heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?  Anita

Dear God, did you mean for the giraffe to look like that, or was it an accident?  Norma

Dear God, instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t you just keep the ones you have now?  Jane

Dear God, who draws the lines around the countries?  Nan

Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?  Neil

Dear God, What does it mean you are a Jealous God? I thought you had everything.  Jane

Dear God, did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you? Because if you did, then I’m going to fix my brother.  Darla

Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.  Joyce

Dear God, it rained for our whole holiday and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend  (But I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear God, why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.  Tom L.

Dear God, please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, you can look it up.  Bruce

Dear God, If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.  Denise

Dear God, if you give me a genie lamp like Aladdin, I will give you anything you want, except my moneybox or my chess set.  Raphael

Dear God, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.  Danny

Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.  Larry

Dear God, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.  Sam

Dear God, you don’t have to worry about me. I always look both ways.  Dean

Dear God, I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.  Ruth M.

Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I’m not praying.  Elliott

Dear God, I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family, and I can never do it.  Nan

Dear God, of all the people who work for you, I like Noah and David the best.  Rob

Dear God, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. Love, Chris

Dear God, we read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said you did it. So I bet he stole your idea. Sincerely, Donna

Dear God, the bad people laughed at Noah. You made an ark on dry land, you fool. But he was smart, he stuck with you. That’s what I would do.  Eddie

Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying that because you are God already.  Charles

Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!  Eugene