How it might have been for Jesus on his visit to hell

To say that changes in the liturgy evoked passionate and lively responses from South African Catholics would be putting it mildly and somewhat politely.

And, having spent the past month or so reading a flood of letters to the editor of The Southern Cross and just chatting to fellow Catholics, the most interesting question on this issue, came from a little girl of about eight or nine years old sitting behind me during Mass, who asked her mother quite candidly why Jesus was sent to hell.

She has just been reading the Apostles creed and was clearly dumfounded with the line: “…was crucified, died, and was buried; he descended into hell…”
Well, as they say: “Out of the mouths of babes…”

When you think about it, just how does this part of the liturgy look to youngsters, and frankly, a lot of adults? Jesus sent to hell? Illogical, unthinkable and completely contrary to our vision of someone who, when on earth, was the most perfect role model to the human race as ever there has been in the history of mankind.

But like a lot of other seemingly illogical parts of the liturgy, I would assume that this is not meant literally. Or maybe that is exactly what happened.

It occurred to me that having died a ghastly and painful death on the cross in order to save mankind, it would make sense that God the Father might have wanted his Son to visit hell, in much the same way as a priest would visit murderers and thieves in prison; to get an idea of the follies of humankind, especially those people who, in time, would refuse point blank to be saved.

I had this picture of Christ spending three days in hell and being able to witness the stupidity and self-centred nature of a few people who were bent on ruining the world for the poor, the innocent, the just and the righteous.

He would have seen way into the future. World wars sparked by despots hungered by power and the desire to rule the world. He would have seen wife-beaters, child-abusers, and blood-thirsty criminals for whom human life meant nothing.

He would have seen world leaders elected with good intentions becoming obsessed with sitting at the top of the pile and not wishing to let go, even to the detriment of the citizens of their countries.

Perhaps this is why the Apostles in their creed insist that Christ spent three days in hell. I would like to think, not because he had done anything wrong, but to appreciate what those lost souls who populate hell had done to deserve eternal damnation.

I am quite sure that it wasn’t some sort of mistake where Jesus spent three days in hell before someone conducted a roll call and said: “Oops, what have we here?” then apologised and sent Our Lord packing heavenwards.

I am quite sure too, that during his short sojourn in hell, Christ would have seen a certain Mr Mugabe entering its fiery portals.

Which reminds me of a story I was told by a fellow parishioner. The scene was a queue outside the pearly gates soon after Mad Bob had passed away.

He arrived at the gates of heaven and was met by St Peter, who said that he had come to quite the wrong place. So the late Bob, not used to carrying his own luggage, left his ten suitcases and plodded off to hell.

He was greeted by Satan, who welcomed him effusively, saying things like: “Welcome, your excellency, I have been a big fan of yours,” and immediately took him on a grand tour, which Mr Mugabe found somewhat disturbing because to him, all his room-mates looked remarkably like George Bush.

Anyway, he resigned himself to the fact that after a few days of having to endure Satan’s fawning and complete lack of respect for his high station in life from all the other inmates, he would take over, appoint himself president for life, fire Satan, and string together a band of war vets to keep the great unwashed in their places.
He asked Satan to excuse him for a moment while he went back up to heaven to fetch his luggage.

“Oh, no your excellency, please, just relax, I will send a few little devils up tonight to go an fetch all your stuff.”

That night, half a dozen little devils crept up to the Pearly Gates. Some climbed quietly over them, others slid under the adjacent fences.

And seeing this, St Peter turned to Michael the Archangel and said: “Just look at that, five minutes he’s been down there and already we’ve got refugees…”