A mandate on gender bias

Never before in the history of mankind — and I mean mankind, not that politically correct alternative, humankind — has there been so much emphasis placed on something called feedback.

Companies that ignored what their customers were thinking and saying have suddenly cottoned on to the immense marketing value in actually listening to what they have to say. And they have found that the more they listen, the more profit they make. Politicians make a great show, always just before election time, of listening to what people have to say. Which is all very nice, except for the fact that when the hustings are over they all tend to forget very quickly.

The Catholic Church, led by the Vatican’s Congregation for Social Communications, has also been in the forefront of encouraging two-way conversation between hierarchy, clergy and laity. Something The Southern Cross facilitates in spite of being heavily criticised at times for allowing ordinary Catholics to speak their minds.

What amuses me, however, is that while there are a lot more two-way conversations going on in the world, there is a lot of pressure on everyone to be extremely careful, not of what they say, but how they say it.

It is called political correctness. For example, I read a news item late last year claiming that there was a a new law in Australia that forbids Father Christmases to say “ho-ho-ho” not only because it scares children, but also because the word “hoe” in African-American slang is a demeaning word for women derived from the word whore. So now, all those street corner Santas and their counterparts in stores apparently have to say “Ha-ha-ha” instead, or find themselves behind bars. Isn’t that political correctness getting totally out of control? I’m convinced that maybe one in every 20 million kids might be scared by a Father Christmas going “ho-ho-ho”, but the odds are that this kid is scared of everything, from his teddy bear to his budgie. And probably has nightmares for weeks if he hears his Dachshund break wind.

Once again, I suspect, this is the result of a paranoid minority imposing their will on the rest of us. The same sort of people, probably, who decided that calling the female help in a restaurant a “waitress” was demeaning to women and immediately invented that ludicrous word “waitron” which, in my opinion, has no right whatsoever to be in the English language.

And what about our education authorities who decided that there were no such things as pupils anymore, just “learners”? I have never understood that change. What on earth is wrong with the word “pupil”? At least “pupil” has an intellectual ring about it, while “learner” just smacks of an IQ no higher than a mentally challenged newt.

“Chairman” has become “chairperson”, “manhole” covers became “people hole” covers, and so the list goes on and on. I am surprised that ex-President Mandela has managed to hang onto his name and avoided being called Mr Persondela. Like Great Whites becoming “person-eating” sharks and managers in the business world having to be called “personagers”.

I have even heard a group of people in all sincerity refer to horse manure as “person-manure”. I argued that as that stuff was produced by a horse and not a person, it couldn’t be called “person-manure” — quite apart from which did they not think that the “man” in manure was also politically incorrect?  So, they decided on calling it “horse-personure” and would not for a minute consider how stupid that sounded. I decided to give up the unequal battle and go and talk to someone a bit more intelligent, and started an animated conversation with a nearby spaniel.

In the big cities in the United States and Britain during the festive season, a lot of advertisers are shying away from splashing “Merry Christmas” across their newspaper and TV ads for fear of upsetting anyone who might not believe in Christmas. Instead they’re taking a politically correct approach and wishing their customers “Happy Holidays”.

I am not the only one who thinks this is all a lot of rubbish. Diana Trent in the TV sitcom Waiting For God once remarked: “Political correctness is about as morally uplifting as the hula hoop…”

Surely freedom of speech is all about being free to speak our minds? Except for hate-speak of course. But calling a learner a pupil, a waitron a waitress, and an opening in the street a manhole can hardly be called hate-speak, for heaven’s sake!

A stop needs to be put to this insanity, before some maniac tries to tell us that saying “Our Father who art in Heaven” is politically incorrect gender-bias.