Forgiving ourselves for hard knocks

By Catherine de Valence

Recently someone drove into the back of our car with a big bakkie. I was very calm and thought to myself, “C’est la vie” (that’s life). When I look back at my previous accidents I see how I was and I see how God’s grace has used each accident to teach me about our humanity.

When we have our first accident, we are flustered, anxious about the consequences and inconvenience caused. We feel guilty and automatically think of the worst. At times we try to put the blame on the other person or something that could have caused the accident, taking the blame off ourselves, and refusing to take the responsibility for our mistakes.

As time goes by we experience God’s grace and mercy, and realise that he has come to our help through the compassion of those who were also involved in accidents in their lives.

Once someone drove into the back of my car. When I got out to investigate, I saw that it was actually a friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I was so happy to see her that I gave her a big hug, not taking note of my damages. I then realised that people meant more to me than materialistic things — more progress.

I also noticed that as we mature in Christ, our focus on materialistic things fades, and we gain a clearer vision on what’s really important: our attitude in times of crisis, and our love for others. Meeting people by accident has been for me a learning curve. Had I not endured those knocks in life, I would not have grown and matured in Christ’s attitude in crisis.

The more knocks I’ve endured, the more I have been able to tolerate and persevere in life. Now when I hear a knock, I say, “C’est la vie”, because Christ — the gift of eternal life — has come to visit, and all I can say is: “Come in. Welcome!”

He often knocks on our door, and wills to come into our lives to help us, comfort us and heal our wounds; but it’s up to us to open the door and let him in. He knows that we are scared to let others know that we have messed up, and that we are not willing to let go of our truth, for fear of what others might think of us. He just wants us to be honest with ourselves and to admit when we are wrong, so that we might progress forth in his strength and be set free by the Spirit of truth, instead of covering up our mistakes and living an anxious life.

Truth is: God already forgave us when he died on the cross for us. He just wants us to forgive ourselves, by letting go of our control to save ourselves. To start letting go of our inner prisons and setting our prisoners free, by saying “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you”.

“You will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).