Abuse: Our experience might help

by Letters Editor · May 20, 2010

From Bev Coleman, Bedford, Eastern Cape:

Every time I read an article about the sexual abuse scandal in the Church and what is happening globally, I go through different emotions of anger, hurt, frustration and sadness. In our beautiful country, we are not free of this scourge.

In 2005 my son Sid laid charges against Fr Paddy Thornton of Cape Town for sexually abusing him. I believe that by sharing what we went through, other victims or frustrated readers might be helped.

Sid did not report the abuse to the hierarchy, but went directly to the charge officers. It turned out that they already had a huge file against the priest, but no victim had had the courage to lay a charge against him. Sid very hesitantly decided to lay the charges. Fr Thornton admitted guilt on the day of the trial. (He died soon after in a car crash).

After the trial, we were visited in our home by Archbishop Lawrence Henry and the vicar-general, Mgr Clifford Stokes. We could sense their clear hurt, shame and uncertainty. I suggested to the archbishop that as he, the people of our parish and our family were feeling hurt and betrayed by the actions of Fr Thornton, he should come to our parish to celebrate a Mass of Healing. This Mass is one we will never forget and all those who attended, experienced the miracle of healing.

My husband Shaun and I had a few meetings with the protocol committee. We have tried to look objectively at this committee and know that what has been put together by them on paper is correct. These cases are very delicate and experts are needed to handle the complaints properly. I hope that in each diocese these experts are available.

One has to remember that the members of the Church hierarchy are not criminal investigators or judges; they are the leaders in our faith. They cannot lay a charge against an offender, only the victim can. But what those in authority must do is to report these offenders to the appropriate authorities.

If you were sexually abused by a priest, I pray that you will have the courage to inform your bishop and lay criminal charges against this person. Emotionally, it is not easy.

If you know about a victim, please give that person the support they need. For the victims, their family members and the Church, the healing process will begin.