What do you see in the mirror?

WHAT do you pray about? Kenyan media recently reported that pandemonium broke out at Kenyatta International Conference Centre (KICC) in Nairobi where thousands of women had turned up to hear a Nigerian pastor. The women packed the KICC auditorium that seats some 10000 people. And there were still many more women shoving and elbowing trying to get in. The theme of the seminar and prayer service? How to get a husband.

The event is still discussed in newspapers, on radio talk shows and in social networking websites. Why? Because Christian women went to learn about how to get a suitor and to pray for one.
Our largest newspaper, Nation, carried a long article titled, “What happened to good old romance?” The writer’s assumption, of course, was that “good old romance” and praying for a spouse, or generally taking a spiritual approach to such matters are incompatible.

Indeed from the frenzied coverage, I came away with two impressions: firstly, as far as our secular media is concerned there are things people should do on their own, which they shouldn’t be taught and which, above all, they shouldn’t bother praying about.

Secondly, you pray only when there is a crisis you can’t handle. If your wits can get you by, you really don’t need God, do you? The single women who thronged KICC had supposedly failed on their own to get a husband, so they turned to God.

It wouldn’t be surprising if the writers, commentators and talk show hosts holding these views are themselves Christians. They believe, like so many others, I think, that being Christian is about going to Church on Sunday because God decreed it. Thereafter, you are on your own.

Sadly, this lie has largely gone unchallenged. No one has clarified that being a Christian means a personal relationship with Jesus Christ—one that involves the entire person, with all his or her joys and the most intimate concerns. Loving God means openness to Him. If it is a spouse we need, we ask Him. That is what Jesus teaches us.

Prayer is not something we resort to only when we have hit the wall; or like they say here about women, when they are “pushing 30”. Is it not rather about being aware that we are always in God’s presence, invited to worship Him, to ask what we need and to try to listen to what He tells us? When Jesus teaches us to ask God for our daily bread, it means that for a Christian everything, everyday depends on God. That is why we pray.

But I also thought the media coverage of the KICC function ridiculed women. Why has it never been the subject of such fevered reporting and comment when Kenyans hold national prayers for rain, or when parents gather in schools and churches to pray for candidates to pass their exams? No one finds it curious when football teams pray before a match.

But when women attend a Christian service on how to get and keep a husband? Would the writer who wondered, “What happened to good old romance?” raise a similar question— “What happened to sheer hard work?”—regarding prayers for candidates ahead of exams?

Moreover, right now there is a craze about books on relationships and there are numerous newspaper columns, entire magazines and radio and TV talk shows where supposed gurus dish out advice on that popular subject. But seeking spiritual help is laughed at.

It is serious. Pope Benedict recently warned that believers are abandoning the “personal God” of Christianity to embrace the notion of a god who is “a supreme, mysterious and indeterminate being, who has only a vague relationship” with human beings.

Our personal God is fully interested in every detail of our lives. Remember all those people who went to Jesus with all sorts of personal issues? If you want a spouse, do not hesitate to take up the matter with God in prayer.