Living in the moment on retreat

BY CHANDA SAMPA

Going on an eight-day retreat through the Jesuit Institute South Africa, for whom I work in the area of information technology, was a new experience for me. I had never made a silent retreat before.

We were using an Anglican retreat house in Rosettenville, Johannesburg. My first surprise was that the person directing me was an Anglican bishop—and I am a Catholic!

Later in the week, a woman priest came to say the Anglican Mass. That capped my surprises. It was the first time I had attended an Anglican service, and  now the celebrant was a woman priest!

The question came to me: Am I a Catholic or Christian? I felt the need to respond to this question, but in the confusion God spoke to me. The retreat was not about who is directing me and who is cerebrating the liturgy, but chiefly about how I am responding to the call of Christ at this moment.

I did not know that there would be challenges in this whole retreat experience. As a good Catholic layman, my prayer before this retreat had been the rosary and the Divine Mercy. I even have the beads of the rosary on my cellphone, so that I can pray wherever I am.

In our first meeting, when my retreat director spoke of Lectio Divina and Gospel Contemplation, I did not know what these were. My gestures clearly spoke for themselves. When my director realised that I had no clue what he was talking about, he explained how to go about praying using Gospel Contemplation and Lectio Divina.

Working for the Jesuit Institute became another positive challenge. My director thought I knew something about Ignatian spirituality. However, my work in the institute is purely technical. On retreat I learnt how friendly and interesting Ignatian spirituality really is.

Now I feel a need to share it with everyone who has never been on a silent retreat before.

Words transform more on a retreat and become the message that the Lord wants you to hear. They become special and exciting.

Lectio Divina is the holy word that transforms and opens you up to be with the Lord. I opened up. I heard these words from the Scriptures a lot: “One has to let go.” I have always told myself that as a young man, I do not have much to let go of. The first thing I had to let go of was the outside world. My cellphone had to be off; my laptop, which is my other joy, was left at home. At first life without friends was not easy. I had to adjust to all of this.

As the only young African man in his twenties making this journey, I asked myself who the fellow journeyers were. The word “strange” came to me, which reminded me of Moses when God spoke to him while he was looking after the flock of his father-in-law, Jethro. When the distraction came of wanting to know about my brothers on this journey, God came and gave me a focus. It was for me again to let go and let God be God at this moment.

Another good experience was learning to keep a journal. I loved it. I was excited to see myself on paper with God.

Another thing which moved me was the importance placed on silence. Every person around us was silent, though in the first two days I asked myself whether I would make it. God calls and we respond. I responded to his call of silence and prayer, and was blessed. The food was delicious—and as I look back that was needed.

Finally I had something to take home when finishing my eight-day silent retreat: the text of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8—to live as God wants me to in every moment.

My final sense was: I know I did not “betray” the Catholic Church by being in an Anglican environment, but I learnt a lot about being Catholic and Christian.