Care for the divorced and remarried

BY ANTHONY GATHAMBIRI IMC

On his flight to Rome from Rio de Janeiro in July, Pope Francis commented on the situation of divorced and remarried Catholics with regard to Holy Communion. “I think this is the time to show mercy,” the pope said. “The Church is a mother and in the Church we need to be merciful toward everyone. We shouldn’t wait for the wounded to come to us, we need to go out and search for them.”

“Divorcees look for somebody who can walk alongside them. They migrate across the denominational borders in search of pastors and communities that won’t condemn or marginalise them. “

He pointed out that divorcees may receive Communion, if they are not remarried. On the question of remarried divorcees, he said that it’s a pastoral issue that needs to be revisited.

With the rising cases of divorce in Africa, we cannot bury our heads in the sand. We have our divorcees everywhere. Some are our mothers and fathers, our sisters and brothers, our own children and friends.

Divorce represents a spiritual crisis which can’t be ignored by any faith community that is open to the signs of the times.

We have a huge responsibility to help wounded divorcees rediscover their esteem and open clean chapters of forgiveness. Some people are divorced against their will. Judging or condemning them deepens their yawning wounds.

It is painful when divorced Catholics are told that they are unworthy of assuming some responsibilities in the parish, or to approach some sacraments. Some have left the Church with bitterness; because they cannot endure any longer the pain their fellow Catholics have caused them.

Divorcees look for somebody who can walk alongside them. They migrate across the denominational borders in search of pastors and communities that won’t condemn or marginalise them.

In divorce, children are the most affected persons. One way of walking alongside divorcees is through supporting their kids by showing them warmth and giving them a welcome.

The gospel of Luke warns: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (16:18). For this reason, the Church excludes them from receiving the Eucharist.

What pastoral help can we offer people in that difficult situation?

The parish community can help by reassuring them that they are loved and not outside the Church. Involving them in some responsibilities is a way of telling them that they are important.

By offering spiritual direction, their priest can explain that even when they don’t receive Communion, they are in communion with Christ when they worship together with the Body of Christ, and the Word is another way of meeting God in the Eucharistic celebration. And, of course, a priest can explain the importance of spiritual communion.

Those who have remarried after a divorce should be treated as brothers and sisters in the Church. Pope  John Paul II in Familiaris Consortio said that “divorcees and the remarried Catholics should not consider themselves or be considered as separated from the Church”.