It’s a matter of trust

Trust makes all functioning relationships possible, as Professor AL GINI of Loyola University in Chicago argues

‘Trust is much more valuable than a written agreement.” I heard these words in the context of a fascinating story told recently by ex-President Bill Clinton, talking at his former university, the Jesuit institution Georgetown in Washington DC.

He was helping negotiate the historic peace accord between Israel and Palestine; the two leaders, Yitzhak Rabin and Yasser Arafat, were hours away from a public signing ceremony at the White House. They had come to an agreement on every point but then noticed that one item—control of a road between the two territories—was not detailed.

They went away to negotiate and came back with a decision that Palestine would control the road. But Mr Clinton was anxious that there was not enough time to change the written documents before they were signed.

“Do not worry,” said Mr Arafat, “I trust Prime Minister Rabin. His word is more valuable to me than any written agreement.”

Trust holds together all forms of social relationships and is the basis of what sociologists call social capital. It is necessary for relationships and interactions at every level.

Trust is the foundational element for all human relationships. At its most elemental, trust is confidence in the character and behaviour of another. Trust is a symbiotic relationship which benefits both parties. Without it we are uncomfortable, uncertain and unsure of our standing with regard to others.

Trust is a precondition for civility, community and leadership.

In life we have certain basic ways of dealing with others. Courtesy (manners, etiquette) is important. It is a lubricant necessary for living harmoniously with others. We see it—hopefully—in the way that drivers, all of them in a hurry, can share a common road with each other.

Sometimes we need contracts or agreements. These are the formal means to delineate, specify and make arrangements for business or political exchanges; contracts make public the agreement between two parties which is then enforceable by law. That is why we have “marriage contracts”—not because they create the relationship between the husband and wife but because they make it public so that others can see it.

But more important than either of these is trust because it is the precondition of both. Aristotle maintains that people must be able to trust one another in politics, commerce, community and battle in order to be comfortable in their lives. Lacking that we fall back on fear, control and power.

Tycoon and prophet of the marketplace Warren Buffett has accurately said: “Trust is like the air we breathe. When it’s present nobody notices; but when it’s absent everybody notices.”

There is no easy answer to the problem of engendering, offering or receiving trust. Yet we cannot live without trust and we should seek the bonds of trust with others even when they fail to reciprocate. We need to extend ourselves; we learn to trust by trusting. Trust releases trust in other people. Not to try to trust is to further isolate ourselves from others and diminishes society, the community and the self.

I am convinced that trust is the fundamental ingredient for all forms of social interaction and an absolutely necessary condition for leadership. Trust is a precondition for a civil society, and the basis of community. Simply put, “trust is confidence in the character and behaviour of another in regard to predictability, reliability, dependability, integrity, and regularity”.

Trust allows us to increase the complexity and richness of our lives. Without trust, our relationships are incoherent and uncoordinated. Without trust, how could one be able to negotiate the most pedestrian kinds of both consumer and public interactions?

 

Although much of the popular literature refers to trust as a lubricant, a glue, a medium or an attitude, I believe that these metaphors do not go far enough. Trust is not an entity, a thing, or a one-time epoxy. Neither static nor inert, trust is a living relationship that we must continue to cultivate through conversations, commitments, and action.

The two politicians described above came from communities that had been fighting each other for almost 50 years. Months of painful negotiation brokered by President Clinton and others had produced not just an agreement; it had created something much more enduring: a relationship of trust.

This came about only because of the time and effort that the two men had put into building a relationship and was publicly symbolised by the warmth of the handshake that they exchanged on the lawn of the White House in 1993.

Trust is an active part of our lives. Trust is something that we have to reinforce to maintain. Trust is something that we do! It is something that we make, we create, we build, we maintain, we sustain with our promises, our commitments, our emotions, and our sense of integrity.

Trust, like love, doesn’t just happen to us; it is a choice. We don’t just fall in love. We learn and, ultimately, choose to love. So, too, we learn and choose to trust.

Trust is neither a birthright nor a gift that will last forever. It cannot be taken for granted. Like love, trust dies if it is not cared for and renewed.

When a leader, a business associate, or a friend lies to us, fails to honour a commitment, demeans or belittles us, we begin to doubt the quality of the relationship. If they persist in this sort of behaviour, sooner or later the relationship will change. “I can’t live or work with him/her anymore, because I no longer trust him/her!”

Trusting is a decision that opens the world to us, builds and deepens our relationship with others, and creates new possibilities. Trust involves an enhanced sensibility that allows us to work and coordinate our actions with other people, precisely because we are confident of what we are doing. Without trust, neither civility, conviviality, commerce, morality nor ethics are possible.