For better or worse

It is no exaggeration to say that the state of matrimony in Western society is in crisis.

Civil divorce, of course, is not a recent phenomenon, although the legal restraints have been progressively eased during the past few decades.

For the Catholic Church, there is no such thing as divorce the bond of marriage, once entered into freely and consciously, is indissoluble.

Canon law makes allowances for the annulment of that bond, a generally complicated process (though liberally interpreted in some countries) in which specific criteria are employed to establish whether the marriage was canonically valid in first place. It would be incorrect, however, to view canonical annulments as the Church’s version of civil divorce.

Jesus was unambiguous on the point of marriage: “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”

The Catechism of the Catholic Church echoes these words, and assures married Catholic couples that their union is a holy vocation, “a true sacrament of the New Covenant.”

The Catechism, however, also acknowledges that “the unequivocal insistence on the indissolubility of the marriage bond may have left some perplexed and could seem to be a demand impossible to realise.”

Popular culture trivialises the marriage bond, with celebrity nuptials often serving as profile-enhancing publicity events, and few such unions accumulating multiple wedding anniversaries.

Faced with a pervasive image of the casual marriage, it is not surprising that many Catholics may indeed become increasingly perplexed when faced with the Church’s firm teachings on matrimony.

One must presume, however, that most couples are serious when they make their wedding vows.

Nevertheless, despite all good intentions, many marriages are troubled, and some inevitably fail.

The Catholic Church in South Africa provides much assistance to those planning to get married, those who are married, and those whose marriages are troubled. The organisations involved in these fields must be commended for their caring ministry.

Alas, the Church offers little support to those Catholics emerging from failed marriages, many of whom may be victims of physical or emotional abandonment.

Especially young women with children are faced with a stark choice: to marry again with a view to financial and emotional security, but be divorced from the Body of Christ; or to remain perpetually single, but in union with the sacrament of the Eucharist.

For many, the price of either decision is too high. Many opt for the former, and, hurt by their exclusion from the sacraments, leave the Church. This cannot be desirable.

The Church’s hands are tied by Jesus’ unequivocal injunction on marriage and the doctrines based on that. And yet, our faith is one of compassion.

The difficult challenge facing the Church today is to find a way in which the dimensions of doctrine and compassion, in this case seemingly contradictory, can be reconciled.