Why I need Station 15

Is there such a state as demoralisation? If so, that is what I am suffering from at the moment, at this stage of Lent.

I have not quite lost my morals, just my morale. I feel depressed and at times hopeless about the moral climate that seems to be all around. The daily scripture readings are about repentance, things like “cursed is the man who…and blessed is the man who…”, and I almost feel obliged to put myself into the cursed box, as I don’t feel quite good enough to be in the blessed box.

Surely there must be a continuum, it can’t just be either or. We are all part good and part not so good, striving to take the message of repentance to heart to varying degrees. Except of course—as I recently experienced to contribute to my state of demoralisation—those criminal fraudsters who keep raiding our postbox, stealing our cheques and trying to cash them with details changed. And those other criminals who bamboozle you, distract you and cheat you out of your card at the ATM.

And you ask: “Why should I repent? What about them?” On an even larger scale what about innocent children raped and murdered, or my priest friend, who is deeply committed to caring for the sick, attacked and robbed. And then I think of the apparent refusal in our society to link immoral behaviour with the continuing HIV infection rate, or of teenage pregnancy and child trafficking. Are there not things to be repented of there?

All these are factors and realities in our society of which I am particularly conscious because of the nature of my work of attempting to build and strengthen family life. The Family Life focus on children’s and family rights during March doesn’t allow me to close my eyes to these realities. Hence my feeling of demoralisation.

And then during my prayer time I find myself in the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus, or stumbling along through the streets of Jerusalem where life carries on oblivious of the life and death of the Son of Man, the Son of God. And I feel compassion with Jesus and identify with his cry for help and his painful falls from time to time, overcome by the human feelings of failure or the distress at seeing his mother.

The Stations of the Cross have been referred to in The Southern Cross quite often recently, as a real devotion of the people reflecting on this Way and final walk of Jesus and of course they can be prayed at any time of the year.

Traditionally we focused just on his suffering but we tend to use a different approach now. Identifying with him, relating his distress to an event in our own lives and family lives—however big or small—makes the journey come more alive. I believe that Family Moments are Faith Moments and that, during this time leading up to the peak experience of Holy Week and Easter, linking my life with characters in the Passion and Resurrection narrative makes the Jesus experience so much more real and relatable, even though it might be presumptuous on my part.

Have we not also been treated unfairly, at times been stripped of our dignity, fallen again into a weakness, watched in pain the suffering of our loved ones and experienced deep desolation?

But I need the 15th Station, the Resurrection, otherwise I sometimes think I would remain in demoralisation for ever. I need to know there is hope, a future that can be filled with joy. I need courage to fight off even just the little traumas in my life and to be willing and able to repent of my lack of faith and my arrogance in taking the world’s problems on to my shoulders.

Jesus has done it for us, has won the battle, and my Way of the Cross need be no more than travelling side by side with him. As I do I open myself to absorbing his endurance, patience, compassion and forgiveness and so find my way out of this demoralisation once again to hope and new strength to continue the mission.

May all readers and their families enjoy a spiritually enriching Holy Week and Easter.