How is another world possible?

I have been thinking about the two family life themes, Children give them love, and the theme for April, Love brings children to God.

In my family ministry, I spend a fair amount of time thinking and at times agonising about these topics. Although it is the Easter season, a season of joy and new life, I’m afraid it is still an agonising time for me, partly brought on by the following episode.

One recent evening I had a phone call from a young man begging me for help. He had obtained Marfam’s phone number somehow through Church channels, and no matter how hard I tried to tell him that Marfam the family ministry I’m involved in is not the type of organisation that might help him, he was very persistent and got me involved in his problem as he told his story.

His mother had died of Aids-related causes, and he needed help to go to the funeral. He knew the Church channels but apparently they had not been able to help at short notice.

Part of me thought: He’s taking me for a sucker, but another part thought: Here is a child whose mother has just died. How should I respond to that? What support does he need?

And I agonised, probably just on a bigger scale then we all do when we turn away from the beggar at the car window, or read about the thousands of Aids orphans needing to make a life in South Africa at this time, or the thousands of unemployed school-leavers with not a glimmer of hope of a job in the near future.

Usually the problem is out there somewhere, and we don’t have to worry too much whether the story is true or not, or we salve our conscience and guilt feelings by handing out a little something to the sad and sometimes blood-shot eyes and vacant-looking face at the window.

Another world is possible. That was the message I heard at the feed-back meeting about the World Social Forum held in Nairobi, Kenya, in January. Church people, NGOs and activists had gathered there and were joined by many of the local poor too. Their objective was to reflect and share and think of ways of challenging those of us with our vibrant economies to remember that more than half of the people in Africa are living below the breadline.

How many among them are boys and girls telling or making up stories about urgently having to attend a mother’s funeral? What effect does that have on the general population? Is it eroding the compassion of some and even inciting anger in others? What impact does this have on the trust levels amongst our people?

I would like to be able to offer consolation and even what support I can to young boys and girls who have lost parents, but how does one know if the story is true? And how does any child feel when faced with scepticism and rejection, even from those of us who preach that Another world is possible? Children should not be in that position at all.

The Easter message, the one that Jesus lived and died for, is that same message: Another world is possible. We have to believe it, even though it is sometimes agonisingly difficult. It is really only possible if we all play our part.

Structures exist in Church and society, but I don’t see many laity, business people especially, active in the Church in the world in a theology of economics, or active in family ministry.

Personally on the ground and in our homes, offices, schools and our dealing with one another, including street kids, there is ministry too.

I was intrigued by the term revolutionary morality mentioned in an ANC discussion document recently. I didn’t equate it with the revolution that has been, but thought it had something to do with a new, different and innovative, and so revolutionary morality, one that would not only eradicate corruption in business and politics but also in personal lives so that married and faithful parents living ethical lives could model sexually moral behaviour and that youth would choose abstinence and faithfulness too.

But then one needs bread on one’s table and a roof over one’s head and the possibility of a career that isn’t just a way of getting rich quick but of living with dignity and pride. Then there really would be no excuse for these con artists preying on gullible do-gooders.

Clearly the concept, Children, give them love, love that brings them to God? is a tall order even for that other world that I believe is possible and, I believe, only if Family Matters, God’s family which is ours. Yes, Easter is not only an event, it is a process.

PS. Was the story true? I don’t believe so.