Murderer at 16?

by Michael Shackleton · Published May 9, 2007 · Updated September 19, 2017

As a schoolgirl years ago, I had an abortion. At the time it was the only thing to do for me, as I was desperate. Now, although my parish priest has seen to it that I have been forgiven for my sin, I have many feelings of unhappiness and deep regret. Was I really a murderer, though I was only 16 at the time? Will I meet my unbaptised child in heaven?

Direct and voluntary killing of an innocent human being is always a gravely immoral act. However, in the case of many abortions, the personal responsibility of the mother involved is frequently diminished because of fear or force or other external pressures on her freedom of choice. She finds herself in a fearfully emotional state and in cases such as this, the killing may be neither direct nor voluntary, so the mother cannot be accused of full personal guilt.

You say your decision was the only thing to do and that you were desperate. This strongly indicates that your freedom of choice was diminished, particularly because you were a mere 16 immature years of age at the time.

Therefore, I would say, that although your act was in itself wrong, you were not guilty of murder, which is always deliberately caused and maliciously inspired.

Your feelings of regret for what you did should be handed over to Christ our Lord. His mercy, we know, is infinite, and when he forgives sin, it is for ever. Pray for a deeper faith and confidence in your Redeemer, who has saved all the world from sin, not forgetting yourself. Remember his words: There will be more rejoicing in heaven over one repentant sinner than over ninety-nine virtuous men who have no need of repentance (Luke 15:7)

We know nothing about how Christ saves unbaptised infants, but we can rely on the words of John’s gospel that Christ is the true light that enlightens all men [human beings] (John 1:9), and by inference, he enlightens even unbaptised infants and foetuses [human beings]. Through no fault of their own they were not sacramentally baptised, but through Christ’s special concern for children and through the prayers of the Church, they may be saved.

I believe that you and your child are sure to be reconciled in the Kingdom of God in ways beyond our understanding but which we must firmly believe in.