Approaching Advent with love

When the different departments of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference were asked to make a response to the bishops’ document on healing, I started thinking and came up with the idea of using the topic as the regular Marfam ( Marriage and Family Life Renewal Ministry) Advent-Christmas programme.

Like Lent, Advent is a time of preparation, or doing some form of penance, or at least review of one’s life. It’s a time for cleansing and a new start to open ourselves as fully as possible to the gift of salvation, of Christmas.

The saying goes: “Jesus is the reason for the season.” Jesus who became a human being, as a vulnerable baby, in a poor family who had to resort to bedding down in a stable because all the Holiday Inns, and City Lodges and B&Bs were full. But this Jesus was also God become man to be one of us, to restore right relationships. “Can we hurt God?” In the sense that God is perfect of course we can’t. But the whole history of salvation is a story of humankind hurting God, God forgiving us and offering us his love and friendship all over again.

That brings me to the family angle. In our families we hurt and heal and forgive and need to build up our relationships all the time. Quite unwittingly at times, sometimes deliberately but most often because of our own selfishness, we hurt one another by our actions or by what we fail to do. Family life, in whatever form it takes, is a school for life in general. It is where we learn the art of living well; we learn to grow from being only focused on our own needs—which is quite natural for an infant—to be considerate of others. Caring and sharing are skills we need to learn in the context of our families, as are being honest, respectful, generous, faithful and forgiving. These skills are learned in the process of growing, growing physically as individuals but also growing together as a little community. This is the family life theme for 2009.

During Advent the themes for reflection offered in the programme “The Healing Power of Love” are hurting, healing, forgiving within the family unit and the wonderful ideal of families healing society, reaching out to others from family to family. Non-religious commemorative days such as World Aids Day and the Day of Reconciliation in South Africa fit quite nicely into this view.

In the programme at Christmas time we celebrate God’s gift of offering to be reconciled with us and during the rest of the season we can make a recommitment to one another and to God and celebrate the wonder of the gift of forgiveness and healing resulting in peace.  Where would our world be if this was not a possibility? Where is our world today because of selfishness, greed and unforgiveness?

There are family religious traditions of making and praying with an Advent wreath, shelter seeking, a family fast day, or making a Christmas crib and singing carols. There are ordinary traditions too like baking and shopping and going on holiday. The themes of hurting, healing and forgiveness are relevant to all these activities. Certainly the Christmas season is very stressful too, with too much partying, too many expectations of gifts that might be quite beyond the reach of anyone’s pocket and at times too little awareness of the need for healing. Isn’t that what Jesus came to tell us and still does today?

The programme is also built around the well-known words of St Paul in his letter to the Corinthians. “Love is patient and kind, is not jealous or conceited or proud: is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable, does not keep a record of wrongs.”