Catholic burials for non-Catholics
My non-Catholic wife and I were married by a Catholic priest. Before we married, my wife was diagnosed with an incurable disease, and died two years later. She had expressed a desire to become a Catholic before we married, but as the illness affected her brain and senses, she could not attend classes. Before she died the same priest would not give her the last rites or bury her, because she was not a Catholic. The local Anglican priest did the last rites and burial without question. Can the Catholic Church not provide some sort of service for a non-Catholic in such circumstances?
The Catholic Church can provide a funeral service for baptised non-Catholics, depending on circumstances, which are allowed for in canon law.
The sacrament of the anointing of the sick, as well as some other sacraments, may be administered to Christians who are not in communion with the Catholic Church, who cannot approach their own minister and who also spontaneously ask for it, provided that they demonstrate the Catholic faith in respect of the sacrament and are spiritually disposed to receive it (c844.4).
Again, the law allows a Catholic funeral for such persons. The provision here is that their own minister is not available (c1183.3).
All such cases are regarded as exceptional and are subject to the authority of the local bishop.
It is not clear what your wife’s relationship with her own church had been, and, despite her illness, how serious was her desire to become a Catholic, or whether any minister of her church visited her at home. Also, it is not clear whether you told the Catholic priest of her wanting to become a Catholic or asked him to call on her, particularly as her condition worsened.
Canon law’s insistence on the unavailability of the deceased’s own minister is there to ensure that no injustice is done to the deceased, their family or their church. In practice, priests and other ministers of religion tend to be cautious about burying people who do not belong to their church or denomination unless there is no doubt that the deceased asked for it. However, this can be a sensitive matter and has to be handled tactfully and sympathetically.
The priest’s decision not to bury your wife was clearly a disappointment for you, but presumably he could have taken any of the above-mentioned circumstances into consideration.
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