Looking back and ahead

One can measure physical growth relatively easily with a measuring tape and scale but intellectual — apart from school reports for learners — and moral, emotional and psychological growth are more difficult and also rather subjective. Nevertheless a year-end reflection as individuals and as a family and one which could also be linked with the sacrament of reconciliation could be a very helpful thing to do. Making some resolutions for 2010 can then be more clearly focused.

How have I done? Physically I have done quite well, kept my weight down for a whole year. I haven’t walked as much as I would have liked, but not taken up any bad habits.

I have wanted to be part of an intellectual discussion circle for ages but that hasn’t got off the ground. Attending talks is all very well, but delving into an issue whether religious or secular, debating, discussing and sharing thoughts and feelings is more satisfying.

Workwise it feels as if I have been very busy, produced a lot, talked a lot, travelled a lot and enjoyed all that — but somehow I do not feel particularly good about the growth aspect. Maybe I feel uncomfortable about getting so deeply involved in Church matters, such as the role of the laity and family spirituality, that it can make me a bit remote from others, especially my own family. I don’t necessarily have it all together, I know, but it could seem like that to others.

Dealing with conflict, in situations and relationships is still challenging from work and home angles. Sometimes, and more so than in my younger years, this is because in our maturer years we do acquire knowledge and insights that are not always easy to pass on or readily accepted. I came across a saying recently, attributed to Pope Benedict, that growth in knowledge is not as important as growth in relationships. Relationships need two or more people and each has to be committed to growth, and that is where the difficulty will always be, as those involved in marriage ministry and also with parenting know only too well.

Where have I succeeded? Some aspects of my work have been well-received, some not. Parish Family Ministry is up and running and I have become especially excited about a programme that I experienced that applies the idea of “Family Preservation”.

But the Church at large, in my admittedly biased view, still does not take family life and its issues seriously enough. We all decry and condemn the violence that racks our country, even more so at this time of the year. But is there not something seriously wrong when young teenagers come with guns and break into houses and shoot innocent people? Where are their parents, and do those parents know where their kids are?

It is my hope and dream that maybe in 2010 some parishes will really take up this issue and say: “For 2010, building up family relationships is going to be our mission and goal. We want our families to pray together and play together, to communicate with one another, to know where our teenagers are and what they are up to and to show respect for our elders and preborn.” That in a sense is the theme for 2010, “Families Play The Game”, literally and figuratively.

I believe that was Jesus’ dream too when he said: ”Love one another as I have loved you” (Jn 13:34), something we remember not on the anniversary of his birth, but of his death. Do you wonder sometimes why we celebrate Jesus’ birthday with him as a baby every year and not as a grown up person, the person he was when he died? Isn’t that how we do it ourselves? After more than 20 centuries and thousands of birthdays he must have grown very old and very wise from carrying the burdens of all these years.

It remains important and necessary to review our lives and the progress we have, or have not made, towards reaching our goal of building up our own corner of his Kingdom. Otherwise his birthday is just an excuse for a party, one to which he might not even be invited, truly an empty gesture.

As you review 2009 and begin your 2010, may the abundant joy that Jesus came to bring be with you and your families.