Good advice for a good Lent

I was listening to some children outside Mass on Ash Wednesday talking about what they were going to give up for Lent. The conversation was all about sweets, cold drinks, movies, iPods and video games. These were not necessarily things they wanted to give up but rather things that they were eliminating from their list of things to give up because they liked them too much.

In short, like most kids — well, like I was when I was little — they wanted to make a contribution, but not with too much hardship. Their teacher overheard and gave them a wonderful lesson in what Lent was actually all about.

I wish I’d had their teacher. She made so much sense. She suggested they give up complaining and focus on gratitude. Give up bitterness and turn to forgiveness. Be kind and compassionate to one another and forgiving each other.

Then the thought came to me about what parents could give up. Things like worry. Wasn’t it St Matthew who wrote: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life. Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

And how about giving up discouragement, anger, impatience and gossiping? Admittedly, they’re not easier than giving up chocolates or whisky, but they are surely a lot more rewarding.

Looking for more examples I turned to one of my favourite newspaper columnists, Regina Brett, who writes for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio (and whose list of 45 life lessons I looked at last year). Just before Lent started last year she wrote:

“The starter pistol for Lent fires in just three days. What are you giving up?

“Back in Catholic school, we had to answer that question by Ash Wednesday, the official kick-off to 40 days of sacrifice, penance and fish-fry Fridays. What to pick? You had to choose something tough enough to be meaningful but easy enough to endure. After all, Jesus withstood temptation while fasting in the desert for 40 days, so how hard could it be to give up soda pop, chewing gum or Gilligan’s Island?” (She referred here to a popular TV show of the day.)

“If you haven’t picked your poison, here are a few things to give up for Lent — and maybe for good:

“Me, me, me. Not as in vocal warm-ups, but as in I, I, I am centre of the universe.
“Being a Type-A. Using your horn. Telling jokes you wouldn’t tell in front of your grandmother.
“Smoking cigars. They stink, you stink, then we stink.
“Your fear of failure. God loves you as is, flaws and all. Accept it and live happily ever after.
“The need to be right. Caring what other people think of you. Believing everything you think.
“Searching the Web for hours instead of spending a half-hour talking to the widow next door or throwing a football with the neighbourhood kids.
“Criticising the Clintons or the Palins.
“Blaming your parents, your boss, your ex. Chances are they did the best they could with what they had.
“Grabbing the best parking spot. Let someone else have it.
“Give up MySpace, Facebook or Twitter.
“Nagging your spouse about things that wouldn’t matter if the biopsy came back positive.
“The quest for perfection. Make completion your goal. You’ll get more accomplished.
“Reading about Britney, Brangelina and Rihanna.
“Buying one more toy you don’t need.
“Whining about the good old days. Instead, make today better for those who will outlive you.”

Instead of giving up something, you could start doing something for Lent:
“Try out these nine new words: ‘I am sorry. You were right. I love you.’
“Be kind to the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
“Listen more than you talk. Pause before you speak. Restraint of tongue, pen and e-mail goes a long way.
“Attend a church where everyone doesn’t look like you.
“Change the soundtrack to your life. Cut the depressing music. Cue the Broadway musicals.
“Look a homeless person in the eye and pretend he’s your brother. Oh, wait; he is.
“Practise mercy instead of demanding justice. Go to confession. Tell the truth. Clean up after yourself. Be early. Tip big.
“Believe there is enough to go around. Change the toilet paper roll. Fill the ice cube tray. Donate one hour’s pay to the Red Cross, the mission or the nearest soup kitchen.
“Give someone an hour of beauty. Take them to the museum [or] botanical garden.
“Read Psalms 16, 30, 43, 59 or 108.
“Wake up 15 minutes early to sit with God. Just the two of you. Best time you ever spent with anyone, guaranteed.
“Be still and know that you aren’t God. What a relief!”

Wise words indeed, and guaranteed to make those Easter eggs taste even better at the end of it all.