Reflect, repent, rejoice

Botswana seems to consider itself rather an orphan child in the region of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference, and the diocese of Francistown most of all because it is the furthest away.

I happened to be in the vicariate to attend a workshop at Kanamo Centre, so when the bishop invited me to present a family workshop I was keen to experience the people and the situation there. 

Family life in Botswana is not really that different from the situation in South Africa. It moves towards materialism and individualism, family-break up, single parent families, teenage pregnancy are very real problems all over Southern Africa, more so than in countries north of us, where it seems that family cohesion and family values are still more apparent.

Should I be saying “still” as if it is only a matter of time before the “wicked West” catches up with everyone? Should we be focusing mainly on the negative aspects of family life?

In the Parish Family Ministry workshops that I run, it is hard to resist that situation. Yes, we do know and do acknowledge that there are big issues around morality. President Jacob Zuma’s suggestion of a moral dialogue tends to elicit a laugh when mentioned in any group.  But that can also be an excuse to avoid looking deeply into ourselves during these last days of Lent and the start of Holy Week. Ask not just what sacrifices I have made for Lent, but in what ways have I reflected and repented of unacceptable behaviour.

In a reflection and sharing session during our Botswana workshop there was some of that reflection on repentance and the ongoing need for this. At the same time I believe Catholics can also be overloaded with guilt. Those the priest preaches to on Sunday are generally the converted who, at the risk of being judgmental, are not the greatest sinners.

Admittedly during these days we do reflect on the sufferings of Jesus, for our sins too, but there is also a need to focus on our strengths and positive qualities — Resurrection stuff.  Whenever I pray the Stations of the Cross with families and groups I make a point of including a 15th Station as a reflection on the positive, on hope in the face of desolation, which sadly is all too common in many family relationships.

The paschal mystery lived in families can be a very meaningful reflection, simplified of course for different types of family situations. This is part of the Family Hour concept.

The whole of Holy Week as well as Easter Sunday — and Easter Monday too, as Family Day in South Africa — provide a range of experiences for reflection from affirmation. The people wanting to make Jesus a king, but Jesus showing himself as a different kind of king, humbly riding on a donkey. The false accusations, physical distress, a mother accompanying a child on an extremely painful journey, helplessness, desolation and exquisite joy such as Mary Magdalene experienced when Jesus met her in the garden on Easter morning…

The Trouble with Catholics, the MARFAM booklet prepared for reflection during the Lent and Easter season, also picks up some of these ideas. For Catholic families the paschal mystery is not just “head stuff” but real heart stuff, the stuff of life, ideally constantly renewed life.

I believe that the Botswana family life representatives with whom I spent the weekend did pick up some of that message, for their own families and for their parishes.

Whether they’re as hooked into the “Families Play The Game” motto as we South Africans are becoming was not too clear. The April-Easter theme is “God’s game plan”, one that should not be kicked into touch over the next months, else we’ll really be offside, or perhaps red-carded and then left to warm a bench, not even a church bench.

My wish for all families, of all kinds, is an Easter filled with joy resulting from a new encounter with the Risen Lord.