In the limelight

Who doesn’t like to be in the limelight, the centre of attraction, belle of the ball? Idols is really just about that, and so are other things like Big Brother or all the different ways we find of showing off our assets.

Sometimes it is deliberate, sometimes unfortunate when one doesn’t want to draw attention to oneself, and at other times it is a byproduct of one’s mission. If you have a job to do or a task to perform you’re going to be seen and judged too. This is true at home, at work, in the church, on the sports field or wherever. So a good word of advice would be: “If you’re going to do a job, you better do it well. Someone is watching, someone is waiting, to praise or criticise.”

Being in the public eye is also a mixed blessing because no matter who you are, what talents you have and how good you are, you come with baggage. While going about my work in the last week I have been keeping an eye on the Pope’s visit to England and Scotland. Sky News has given the whole trip, with its many different events, extensive coverage and it is sad that it hardly featured at all on South African TV. Watching a Mass or a prayer service has been very edifying.

Pope Benedict spoke to other groups, politicians too, and while these services were going on there was the constant ribbon running across the bottom of the screen, as we see on all the TV news stations, and one could say it was harping on the sexual abuse scandals which are still rocking the Church in different places. I found it disturbing and asked myself if this type of positive-negative imaging is a feature of modern times, with the media having the power to influence any message in positive or negative ways?

The same happens of course in any situation. Sporting heroes and heroines will be exposed to public scrutiny whether they like it or not and there has been enough of that in the last year too. Think of Tiger Woods and Caster Semenya. Think of doping scandals that surface in the media. In business and politics, too, being in the limelight is a risk.

Families also face this situation. Matric exams are looming but right now it is still matric dance time for some young people. Every girl wants to be the most beautiful one, but she agonises over “Am I too fat, too thin, too pale, too dark? My dress, my hair, my shoes…” The stress, the agony and the ecstasy of the occasion are almost too much to bear. Whatever the occasion being in the limelight has its risks and its compensations.

Everyone wants and needs to be noticed and valued especially on the big occasions like a wedding, 21st, confirmation, 1st communion, baptism. Then we ask ourselves: “Are these photoshoot occasions, or meaningful family life experiences that can even be spoilt by being in front of the camera?” A friend mentioned her son was making his first confession and the need for them as the parents to be present as the child prepare for this. That is almost at the other extreme: small but very important too without the distraction of camera and lights.

Hurts, crime, marriage or family breakdown, i.e. negative life experiences, also too easily put one into the limelight in one’s own immediate circle or a wider group. Then, reconciliation can be one of the byproducts of being in the limelight. On one occasion Jesus reminded us, “There is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open” Luke 8:17. Exposure, disclosure can and does bring issues into the open, sometimes in a very painful way, but this could at least lead to opening up an issue that is a festering sore. It might be HIV status. It might be some secret from the past that does have a bearing on one’s current relationships.

What is our mission in the Church; the big Church and our small domestic churches this Mission month? “All for one and one for all” is the family theme. The Church would call it the value of “the common good”. Recognising who we are—warts and all, standing together, supporting one another—yes, in good times and in bad, building up rather than breaking down and reconstructing are the ultimate goals of creating a better world, God’s Kingdom. And as always it starts at home. Is there something you are hiding that could and should be brought into the light in order to be healed?

Make this reflection one for a Family Hour during the month. And looking ahead, the 2011 family theme is Peace On Earth Begins At Home. There is no need to wait. Peace shouldn’t have to wait. It begins with you, now.
– The 2011 family calendars are now available.