Preserve the good things

Preserve me… What immediately comes to mind on seeing these words?

They are certainly biblical, and many of the psalms are in that vein. Some people, possibly older and more religious, might also use them instead of swear words. The Knights of Da Gama in their campaign for reverence of the Holy Name of Jesus would approve too.

I still remember one bumper sticker that really tickled my funnybone years ago. It said: “Preserve wildlife, pickle a squirrel.” Cruel, of course, but clever. From my usual perspective of family friendliness, I have been pleased to work in a programme called Family Preservation. It is a movement, a philosophy, an approach and also a vision for social living not just for family life.

The vision and a programme are being promoted by the Family Directorate of the government’s Department of Social Development as the underlying vision for welfare and service delivery to families across the board. The principle of “safety first” must also apply, and if there is a real danger to a child’s life, he or she has to be removed from the family, but I buy wholeheartedly into the conviction that families should be kept together whenever possible, even in times of crisis.

The work, then, of the social worker or other professionals and their support team—which is most often where our parish family ministers could come in—is to assess the needs, and together with the family make a developmental plan which includes building on their strengths, teaching skills, communicating or “family conferencing”.
This is all under the guidance of the programme facilitator, but from our non-professional perspective, conferencing is much the same as Family Hour as promoted by the bishops’ Family Life Desk and the Marriage and Family Ministry (MARFAM) in our programmes and publications.

Remember the 2010 slogan, “The family that prays and plays together stays together”—or the family that walks and talks together, or earns and learn together has a potential for more effective functioning and learning the skills of life.
MARFAM’s latest publication, Pray As You Go, very specifically promotes the idea of spending time talking, listening, sharing, praying and deciding on action around a number of different issues that could be relevant to a family. The technique used is that of a common faith sharing method, and so any relevant issue for a family can be used. It is not specifically an Advent programme, but at this time of the year I wonder what those relevant issues could possibly be.
How will we spend our holidays, with or without going away? What can we do about Christmas presents if we really can’t afford the kind of gifts the children would love and might expect? Will the Christmas parties we attend be dry or drunken? What plans are in place should there be a crisis in our family over the holiday season?

Another workshop I attended recently highlighted for me how ill-prepared I and my family are for dealing with a crisis. Do we have emergency telephone numbers handy? Do we have a will and instructions to deal with any eventualities in case of an accident or worse? Do people know where to find them? In sharing with one another in our families on such issues we should bring in “What would Jesus do?”

Beyond praying, “Preserve me O God”, or pickling whatever leftovers there are so as to save the morsels, or keep the memories alive for posterity, what else is there? I do have a wish, a hope and a prayer for all families during the month ahead. In the words of the blessing from the Book of Numbers: “May the Lord protect you and keep you. May he let his face shine on you and be gracious to you. May he bring you his peace.”

I think that is what preservation in the deepest sense is all about, but it’s not only up to God. Paul told the Ephesians that we must do our best to preserve the unity which the Spirit gives by the way we treat one another with humility, gentleness, patience and tolerance.

A tall order maybe for this time of the year, but one that deserves to be preserved.