Will you be vinegar or fine wine?

I  was out and about with my 18 year-old granddaughter recently and we, as women do, were attracted by a skincare kiosk in the mall. The young salesman took a look at the young lady and made some comment to her about her mom. “That’s not my mom,” she replied, “that’s my gran.” “But she looks so young!” came the response.

Now, do I take that as a sales pitch, down-right flattery or a genuine observation? We older people are concerned about how we look, how we come across to other younger people and do still enjoy a compliment. But how do we really feel about ourselves and the role we can or do play in society? Conversely how are we regarded by others including our grandchildren; useful, a burden, a shoulder to cry on?

I think that these “Beatitudes for Grandparents” that I penned some years ago for MARFAM still express my sentiments on this.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, as they will not see their grandparents as a mealticket to the future.

Blessed are the gentle, as they will recognise and be patient with the weaknesses of old age.

Blessed are they who mourn, and who comfort the bereaved and lonely in their loss.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice, that the old and weak will not be cast aside but be treated with dignity and respect.

Blessed are they who are merciful and who forgive the old for the faults and failings of yesteryear.

Blessed are the pure in heart, who see the old and young as they really are.

Blessed are the peace-makers and the agents for reconciliation between generations.

Blessed are they who accept with grace the wisdom of old age.

Blessed are they who can look back on a life of integrity and know they are loved.

Blessed are they who do not judge their young, so that they will not be judged.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because they do what is right, standing up with courage to defend what they have learned through the years.

Blessed are the old and the young, children, parents and grandparents who acknowledge with gratitude the great gift of life they have been given to share—for the Kingdom of God is theirs.

A project I embarked on some years ago too is a very informal “Movement of Prayer of Grandparents for their Grandchildren”. We do often feel out of our depth in the world they inhabit but also feel seriously concerned. So at times praying for them and their safety and well-being is the greatest gift we can offer them. Some information on this and other articles on ageing and the elderly can be downloaded from www.marfam.org.za/blog.

On the topic of maturing, I like the July family calendar theme, “Peace matures with age” and have done some homework around the idea of maturing. I discovered that maturity means coping well in whatever situation one finds oneself and a two-year old can be mature for his age, or an 18-year-old or a 35-year-old can be immature for their age.

But maturing also tends to be applied to ageing until it reaches prime condition, possibly like cheese or wine.

A quotation that really tickled my fancy was this: “People are like wine, some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” In our declining years I pray that we may strive to be like good wine, fruity or full-bodied, with a rich colour, a good nose and a delight on the tongue. May that be the way to hope and joy for young and old?