Marikana: The family angle

Instead of reporting back on my fairly traumatic move over the last month, about which a number of readers of this column had been asking, much more momentous events overtook us last month.

Maybe the tragic events of August 16 have already become past history for many—but not for the families of the deceased, or many other members of the media or public who have compared the Marikana shootings to those in Sharpeville in 1960.

The events at Marikana do have enormous family implications. In the days after, wives and mothers and children of those killed, hospitalised or jailed after the strike spent anxious hours trying to locate their men, alive or dead.

Women held a protest the following day, reportedly singing the national anthem, which is a prayer but also a political rallying song.

Ironically the incident happened on the day after the national patronal feast of South Africa, the feast of the Assumption. Like many dioceses, that of Rustenburg holds an annual pilgrimage to Vleeschfontein, the site of the first church in the area and now part of the peaceful Madikwe game reserve.

Some people, mainly youth, walk for many kilometres, while others came to the site early on Sunday before the feast to celebrate Mass together.

Could they have foreseen what would happen not very far away? Did they already feel the rising tension and pray for peace?

National police commissioner Riah Phiyega said she was “saddened by the events”. She defended the shooting, of course, but also added that “this should not be a time for pointing fingers, but to mourn”.

Mourning is grieving, weeping, feeling the pain of loss, reflecting on what was, without even, at that particular moment, being able to face the future. But that must be done and the Church has added its voice to the call for a comprehensive inquiry into causes and actions and finding a positive way forward.

 

Financial offers have been made for families affected, but that will not bring back the father, son or brother. Will the event teach the rest of us anything of value about effective family communication?

In these settlements of mainly migrant workers family life is severely disrupted, with wives most often left behind in a rural village. Local women partner with the men but there is little stability.

Nevertheless were any of the issues and actions that led up to the tragic events, reflected upon and discussed in homes and shacks; was that even possible? Would women have counselled restraint or a more peaceful demonstration?

Pope Benedict in his apostolic exhortation Africae Munus speaks to women and repeats the earlier words of Pope John Paul II in his letter to women in 1994: “The Church counts on you to create a ‘human ecology’ through your sympathetic love, your friendly and thoughtful demeanour, and finally through mercy, values that you know how to instil in your children, values that the world so badly needs. In this way, by the wealth of your specifically feminine gifts, you will foster the reconciliation of individuals and communities.”

Are these the qualities of the women of today? Do women have an influence on their partners, and could marriage be or ever become a humanising relationship at the heart of a family?

From August’s family theme, “Gender Matters”, we pick up September’s theme: “Marriage and Culture”.

Strengthening gender relationships and combating a culture of violence could be the basis of a prayer to our patroness during the current marriage awareness campaign, “Marriage and You”.

Mary, Queen assumed into heaven, Queen of peace, patroness of South Africa, pray for us, for us as families, for us Church as Family.

For more on the SACBC Family Life Desk’s “Marriage and You” awareness campaign visit www.marfam.org.za/blog or call me on 082 552-1275 to order resource and reflection materials—or for a fuller account of my “historic move”.