Preparing the soil of the family

Three bags of lawn dressing and a watering can. Those rather incongruous items are part of my new way of life in my mini-pad, into which I recently moved.

October 7 is Marriage Day

In the old house I did from time to time put some lawn dressing down but the grass was allowed to go brown in the winter and be dependent on rain in the summer. Now my mini-garden has to keep up with that of the adjoining neighbours, most of whom are properly retired and free from the work obligations I have.

Now that it is spring I see them spending quiet, relaxing days looking after their flower gardens, pottering and listening to the birds. My piece of garden is really minute—I can cover it with just one watering can—and I was sure one bag of dressing would be more than enough—but no, the village gardener instructed me to go back and buy more.

As I think back, I can see that much of my life has really been spent doing the “bee” thing, busily flitting about from one flowerpatch to another, instead of devoting quality time to one particular area.

If it is not the month of May for parents, then it is the marriage campaign culminating on Marriage Day (this year on October 7), and in no time there is another magazine to get ready, and, oh dear, the Year of Faith is starting already and while that will be part of the theme for the 2013 family year planner, I am not up to speed yet with my ideas and resources.

I have been told that people are overwhelmed by so much stuff which might be good but is just too much. My approach is to keep up with what is current in Church life, and to try and reflect on it in at least some depth.

That aspect, of depth, is something modern-day technology militates against because the pace of life is just too busy, too fast and possibly too shallow. Tweets, BBM, WhatsApp and text messages are the order of the day while some keep their Facebook pages constantly on the boil, leaving little time for reflection.

Maybe we can reflect on the statement by the Greek philosopher Socrates: “The unreflected life is not worth living.”

October is Mission Month and we focus on our mission at different times and different contexts in life. Surely at all times the mission of families is to bring God and be God’s presence to one another first of all.

I have been very excited by the vision of family preservation of the South African Social Development Department as it ties in beautifully with the vision for family life of MARFAM and the Family Life Desk.

“Keeping Families Together” is the main aim, and that is no easy task for young and old. To build the Church as family is a calling for all missionaries, religious or lay. Whether it is through Renew Africa, Ecclesia or some other programme, we dare not let the parish’s need usurp the prior family need. That is a seriously challenging statement for every member of the family.

Marriage Day on October 7 is an opportunity to celebrate marriage with the whole community, not just couples. Honour the oldest, the youngest, pray with and for the newly-weds and those in difficulty or who have lost a spouse for whatever reason.

But it does not end there. The same media that can be such a stress to family time also informs us of the serious needs in many other places. Let Mission Month and Mission Sunday on October 21 be a celebration of the mission of marriage and the family in the home and then reach out as a family to the broader needs of the wider family beyond our own doorstep.

One can sit in one’s proverbial garden whatever its size, fertilise and water it with care, with watering can or sprinkler system and share with others the fruits of our labours.

At the same time the mission is to prepare the soil for a future crop that will be evidence of the effort gone into its production, whether it is marriage, children, flowers, vegetables or one’s personal faith journey. Enjoy!