Why we must not forget

Remembrance Day falls on Sunday, November 11. That is also the day on which I will have my annual Widowed Day of Reflection, and two special birthdays to celebrate, too. So there is stuff to remember about the past and the present.

"Ideally memories should be cherished as the valued treasures of our lives."

There are very few people left alive who actually remember anything of the First World War, which was fought from 1914-18, when Remembrance Day was first introduced.

Even World War II may have very few memories for those of us of who were young children. Fathers and husbands were in combat or in hiding or in exile or in concentration camps, but it wasn’t only those men who were affected and suffered.

In South Africa we are less concerned about these European wars now as the focus is shifting more to our own continent. There is less declared war at this time on the continent than there was in many previous eras, but nevertheless there is war—guerrilla warfare, rebels fighting government troops, and all kinds of insidious war waged on innocent people;  trafficking,  kidnapping and people becoming refugees inside or outside their own countries.

So the need for evangelisation and mission work is great, bringing God into the situation continues in this Year of Faith.

Loss of life of any kind, through major disasters, accidents, violence, illness or just old age is sad but a reality as we recognise that it is one of the few givens in life; we will all die—but who knows how?

But death is not the only loss. November in the Church is the month to commemorate those who have died and celebrate the life of the saints. This month’s family reflections on the “Day by Day With God and Family” theme can be on loss of all kinds: how we experience it, deal with it, overcome negative aspects and look for a way forward.

We may have experienced job losses, losing in sport, losing money, keys, cellphones. We may have had things stolen from us, or lost a friend, a sense of time, of belonging or of independence as we grow older.

In a sense I lost my pets and my house this year and I do sometimes wonder whether I am losing my mind, which is one of the greatest fears for older people.

We sometimes say, “forgive and forget”, or “let bygones be bygones”, but memories should not be forgotten. Ideally memories should be cherished as the valued treasures of our lives.

If there are still hurts, then healing can still be sought. Memory boxes have become a part of HIV/Aids ministry, allowing  orphans to put together a  little collection of items that remind them of the parents they have lost.

There is so little time in our busy schedules for anything except the immediate reality but to be properly family-friendly it is good to set some time aside, even before the month starts and, as I generally recommend during a weekly Family Hour, to prepare a poster or small home shrine in memory of our losses and then reflect and share on the subject of loss.

The Year of Faith even challenges us to consider whether we have lost some of the joy and enthusiasm for our faith, or maybe lost our faith. On a more positive note we can ask have we lost a fear, a phobia, a hurt that was bogging us down and found a new source of joy in our lives, something really worth remembering.

The family theme for 2013 and the Year of Faith is “Family Moments–Faith Moments”.  In our domestic churches may the words of Jesus, “Do this in memory of me”, be celebrated too in our own sacred moments.

Make it fun, scour your memories for events of long ago and recent and may this become a positive growth point on all our journeys of faith.