Keeping the family traditions going

How do you grow family traditions or instil family values in children when they can’t even sit still long enough to hear a Christmas carol being sung?

“How do families best transmit our faith to our children—one of objectives of the Year of Faith? “

As a bit of a musician I have been in groups performing carols in shopping malls and community village greens over the years. I’m sure I am not the only one who finds it very off-putting when shoppers just walk by or children are allowed to run riot instead of being contained by their parents to at least sit still but also be encouraged to join in.

I hate to think we were just background noise. As one of our group remarked: “If this was a pop concert they would be paying attention.”

My memories of carols by candlelight used to be a wonderful, spiritually uplifting experience, with great numbers of parents and children singing lustily by dimly flickering candles. Maybe I’ve been in the wrong places and should try again, but these experiences have almost completely put me off and I won’t do any more carols in shopping malls.

Funny though, when I went to my granddaughter’s Christmas concert it was the parents and grandparents and older siblings who were all eyes and ears and smiles while the small ones were being contained by their teachers. We all thought: Aren’t they cute? Mary and Joseph, kings and shepherds and angels all singing and jiving along to “Jingle Bell Rock” on a backing track (it was just one of the selection of carols and Christmas songs).

So, where does that leave us? There is so much talk in the Church about attracting the youth, but much should also be done for the even younger generation. How do families best transmit our faith to our children—one of objectives of the Year of Faith?

How many families did Advent activities, making a Jesse tree, lighting the candles on the wreath, baking Christmas cookies, making crackers and home-made gifts?

The adults are all so frenziedly shopping while kids complain about being dragged along, when they are not sent to the movies to be entertained. In how many families are Christmas carols being sung? Do children hear them in the malls before the marketing is about going “back to school”? For our children, is Christmas good only for presents?

But let me not generalise. The tradition of shelter-seeking is still maintained at Schoenstatt, and there are families that carry on their Christmas traditions, even things like every family member having a turn to stir while the Christmas cake is mixed.

It is not the Church alone that is promoting the idea of family time together, to pray as well as to play, as I always stress. I am also involved with a government-sponsored project on family preservation that promotes exactly the same value of communication and sharing life experiences.

So I am really happy to sit quietly at home composing short reflections on 2013’s “Family Moments and Faith Moments” theme. But as I do so, I wonder: who will take the time and trouble to use them in their homes?

It is not only at Christmas time, but at all times of the year and in all kinds of situations that we can become more aware that Family Moments are really the Faith Moments of the domestic church.

By now, many kids, young and old, will be playing with their new electronic toys, usually on their own. There will be others who are enjoying a holiday away from it all, possibly even from TV, hopefully spending quality time together. There will be others who will be pleased to see a square meal, with maybe a little homemade Christmas pudding of sorts. Again there will be others left at home, or waiting for someone to call or visit, or suffering the effects of holiday mishaps. That is Christmas for you.

My New Year’s resolution could be to look on the brighter side, not gripe about the lost traditions or distracting and distracted kids, but take them by the hand, listen and try to figure what their idea of a family tradition could be.

It’s worth a try, and a Happy New Year to all!