The Holy Spirit in the Family

The United Nations International Day of Families 2013 is an annual commemoration conveniently celebrated worldwide in whatever way on May 15. This year the official theme is Advancing Social Integration and Intergenerational Solidarity.

That’s quite a mouthful, so I simplify it here by calling it Keeping families together across the generations because that is what it really means.
It applies to young, old and in betweeners, and so can also fit in with our focus of the month of Family First!

There is a great social need for respect for life at all stages, from pre-birth right through to natural death.

The first place of catechesis is in the family.

The abuse and exploitation of older people, even within their families, is becoming a social problem. Neglecting them and leaving them in homes or institutions without regular contact with their families is a sad reality, too.

There is a social as well as a spiritual dimension to this. The New York archdiocesan catechetical office website informs us: In family catechesis all family members, adults as well as children, work, learn and pray together.

I believe that for some of us, family catechesis has been understood as more to do with parents teaching simple things to young children. Once they are old enough they go to catechism class for a while, probably until First Communion and possibly after a few years for confirmation.

While ideally parish catechesis should be ongoing throughout the school years, that is not always the case. Religious education in Catholic schools is something different again.

Family catechesis, however, is a practice that is very undeveloped in our local Church and yet was in a way how their religious culture was passed on in African families, with elders playing an important role with the younger generations.

There is awareness of this in the Church too, as I found when attending the big World Meetings of Families, which had special sessions for grandparents. It was said that the grandparents are often the ones who speak about God and religion to children, but that is because parents are not doing it themselves.

So that leaves us with a new possibility and quite a challenge for family catechesis as a way of faith and life sharing in families as units across the generations. The feast of Pentecost lends itself to that possibility.

In MARFAM’s Family Matters magazine, there is a pull-out section which has an activity for families around the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit, ideally to be done over a number of occasions.

A priest looked at it and liked it. He commented that it is something youth groups could do. Maybe so, but that isn’t the primary purpose; it is really more intimately aimed at families.

There are little observations or stories on each of the gifts and fruits, and an invitation to look for such a quality in ourselves and in different family members. Who has the wisdom, the knowledge, the patience, the self-control? Who wants to ask for the gift of fortitude or should be asking for humility and faithfulness? Which family would not want the fruits of joy and love to be manifest and visible?

One could ask: Is the Holy Spirit a family spirit, or is our family spirit a holy spirit? As we communicate and share and show one another how we appreciate some of these qualities we see in one another, and in all honesty address our needs, the Holy Spirit can truly become a family spirit.

It won’t necessarily be easy if your family is not used to this kind of thing. It is what I have been promoting as Family Hour, a regular time set aside  perhaps once a week, or more often, if possible  for families to spend time on their own issues, sharing their concerns, thoughts and feelings.

But around this time of Pentecost – the birthday of the Church – it could be a particularly meaningful growth experience, one that can in a small way begin to promote the social integration and intergenerational solidarity that the United Nations calls for too.