Sailing the river of life

We are inclined to think eternal life begins after death, but the Year of Faith reflections and the Catechism have taught me that “faith is the beginning of eternal life” (163).

The matric dance is one of the many rites of passage for young people. (Photo:?Anita Peppers)

So rites of passage as special moments on the journey, or “the river of life”, a popular reflection on one’s own life story, are already aspects of eternal life.

One could write a whole dissertation on the subject, but I will confine myself to just a few thoughts that may touch a few heart-or apron- or purse-strings.

Rites of passage for us are home-related or church-related or both. Some are old traditions that may still carry importance, such as introducing a

baby to the family ancestors, or initiation schools or traditional wedding practices that include negotiations and lobola, or dealing with death in the family.

Other rites of passage are more churchy, especially reception of the sacraments.

But what has crept in to all these?

Baptism should be a welcoming into the Christian family, but it has also become little more than a social event. Why do non-church-going families insist on having a baby baptised and get angry if the priest challenges them on that?

First Communion is more of an “occasion” than first confession. There was a time when girls were dressed up as little brides—sometimes perhaps with a little too much focus on the dress, but then dressing up for this special welcoming of Jesus does have merit.

Some parishes now make the boys and girls dress uniformly in baggy altar server type garb, which at least takes the focus off the clothes.

There are other rites of passages that have evolved over time which can cause a headache to financially hard-pressed parents as well as their adolescent, almost adult, children — the matric dance.

Having made five matric dance dresses over the years — mainly because I considered the cost of buying them prohibitive—I do have some idea of what it is all about.

Listening to a radio programme on which callers express their dearest wish, I was shocked.

One mom, a single parent who had experienced some financial setbacks, requested financial help for her son’s matric dance. Her request was chosen above others which probably were equally or more deserving.

His clothes, his shoes, the girl’s dress, matching tie, champagne before and the limo to take them to the ball and I can’t even remember what else adding up to thousands of rands were sponsored.

I suppose one should hope they had a great time, but even that isn’t even always assured.

There is a whole subculture around the dance that occupies matrics’ minds for a large part of the year. Choosing a partner can be a problem. The girl you asked six months ago may not be your friend any more and your current girlfriend is highly upset. Whose dress is the most glamorous, which guy is the cutest, or hottest, or coolest? Are there teachers and are they watching? What will happen at the after-party? What about drinks? And so it goes. Is it worth it?

Leaving the school years behind is a rite of passage experienced in dozens of ways by young people. Maybe it is a relief to get out of a bullying environment or an intellectually challenging time. Maybe the school years have been good, hard work but satisfying, making good friends for life.

It is highly unlikely that matrics will choose to end their school days with a retreat to rest awhile in a small boat afloat on the river of life. They are more likely to want to spend someone’s hard-earned money on their matric holiday.

Can one blame them? The next stage — further studies, acquiring skills, getting a job—looms and may seem mountainous.

Some people say that the youth don’t think ahead and just live for the day. Whatever the reality for them, let us pray that they may all survive well this rite of passage on their journey to eternal life and have a safe trip.

Let us too, of course, during the month of November pray that those who have entered another phase of eternal life will be at rest and that those whom they loved and are left behind, still on their earthly portion of the journey, will be at peace.