Faith and family moments

The Year of Faith has drawn to its official close, and we family people are using the month of December for a final reflection on the theme for the year “Family Moments and Faith Moments”. Are family moments also faith moments, and vice versa?

A table is set for Christmas dinner. The stress of preparing for Christmas can have a spiritual dimension. (Photo: kakisky)

During the year I have presented many reflections on the different aspects of marriage, parenting, youth, the elderly, gender, culture and heritage and so on. I wonder if there has been some growth in the understanding of the “Family Moments and Faith Moments” concept.

A Mass in a Johannesburg township parish I attended last month was undoubtedly a feast. It took two and a half hours, with 20 baptisms (many of babies of unmarried mothers), a positive attitude from the parish priest and much enthusiastic singing and movement by the youth choir and a good proportion of the congregation.

After Mass there were any number of activities happening, one of which was a retreat for about 30 people, mostly widowed and a few divorced. Of the three men who were there at the start, only one had the courage to stay.

A short presentation was followed by a group-sharing activity based on a “Stations of the Cross for Widowed People” that I had composed over the years, reflecting on my own experience of widowhood and relating it to the events in the Passion of Jesus and ending with the Resurrection.

It was a totally new experience for the group and a process that had to be explained as a meaningful exercise for the month of November, when not only those who have died but also those who remain need our support.

Another parish that conducted the same activity reported that all participants found it very moving and special to have attention paid to them, and to have an opportunity to reflect on their own lives.

So for me the baptisms and the widowed programmes are examples of faith moments that are also family moments.

On another occasion those writing matric received a special blessing: a family moment made into a faith moment.

On yet another occasion at a township Mass I asked the choir leader how many members sing at home with their families. Some do, but I wonder whether in general people pray and sing as easily and enthusiastically in their little church of the home as they do in the parish church. So I suggested a family choir competition, perhaps using Christmas carols as a programme.

Advent and Christmas are great opportunities for linking family and faith moments. Current MARFAM publications have suggested activities, such as making an advent wreath or shelter-seeking as a programme promoted through Schoenstatt.

But Christmas doesn’t have to be all spiritual. Holiday time and appreciating one another, the stresses of preparing for Christmas and deciding what to buy or not, what to eat, who to give what to — if done together in a spirit of commitment and unity, these are family moments that can be regarded as faith moments if we offer them to God.

And when the sea is not so smooth, confession can be accompanied by a family reconciliation moment too.

The Special Synod on Pastoral Challenges of Families called by Pope Francis does highlight some of the family needs, but the questions in the questionnaire for the preparation of the synod are difficult to answer for the average Catholic and this also highlights how important it is for families to grow in knowledge and understanding of their family as a domestic church with particular tasks and needs.

So the faith and life and family life aspects are all important for our spiritual growth but also our general wellbeing and functioning. Will 2014, as the 20th anniversary of the International Year of the Family, make a difference in our lives?

One hopes that with continuing efforts it will result in improved functioning, strengthening, building resilience and an increasing sense of the importance and value of the family, the domestic church, the place where in a unique way the Word is made Flesh.