Who works the hardest?

On the whole, I think, Catholics are not well informed on the Church’s teaching about family life. People know a little, maybe in a rather vague way. Natural law is one aspect that flummoxes us all, even priests. There are discussions around divorced and remarried people, the issue of homosexuality and children in same-sex families, also something on the role and place of women.

Catholic Social Teaching has a long section on marriage and family life as well as areas of work and human rights. It is worth studying and knowing. (Photo: connectnigeria.com)

A priest colleague recently made an interesting observation. “Who says people are not well-informed?” he asked. “On the question of dress-code in church I am amazed at what people know, even quoting from canon law.”

Is dress-code in church something to get really excited about? For me it isn’t, but for some it clearly is and they are prepared to read up and back their arguments. If there is something that really grabs people, they will make an effort to learn more.

In the recent Sunday gospels we encountered Jesus teaching in parables. Often he said: “You who have ears to hear, let him listen.” He must have been speaking about openness to listen to him and his message. He wasn’t talking to deaf people.

Nor are we in our families talking to deaf people, but are we speaking to those who are open to listen.

The question, “How many times must I tell you?” is not about learning to count but expresses frustration at children’s inability to listen. Spouses are possibly the worst culprits when it comes to selective listening, choosing what they want to hear. And doesn’t this constantly lead to conflict?

One of the topics family members may not be very good at hearing about is that of gender balance.

The introduction to the August theme of gender balance in the Thoughts for the Day booklet for July-September states: “All family relationships are influenced by sexuality and gender issues. Gender rules are learned from modelling and experience. Attitudes, habits and behaviour patterns are influenced from early in life by how boys and girls see themselves. Women’s empowerment has challenged stereotypes and changed gender roles. Families need considerate, open and honest communication to avoid undue conflict and gender-based violence.”

The faith reflection linked up with this: “Men and woman have the same dignity and are of equal value, not only because they are both, in their differences, created in the image of God, but even more profoundly because the reciprocity that gives life to the ‘we’ in the human couples is an image of God (Catholic Social Teaching 111)”.

Men may be able to quote statistics about gender roles but how often do they take the message to heart?

Stats SA 2011 tells us that men aged between 15 and 64 spend on average 254 minutes per day on paid work and 102 minutes on unpaid work. Women spend 155 minutes on paid work and 253 minutes on unpaid work.

Most of the unpaid work is in the domain of housework and childcare.

From this we can conclude that women work more hours than men overall, but also give much more of their time to the home and the children.

During Women’s Month in South Africa, there is bound to be much talk about gender equality in the workplace and women’s rights. Should there not be more reflection and discussion both inside and outside our homes about gender equality or balance, in the home and family?

Should boys and girls be treated the same or differently? Should both assist with housework? What gender roles are most suited to each of our own families and life situations? Is this something to get passionate about, to want to know more about in order to improve the quality of our family lives and prepare the young for a better balance in future?

Catholic Social Teaching has a long section on marriage and family life as well as areas of work and human rights. It is worth studying and knowing.

But the profound snippet quoted above is both beautiful and meaningful. In their reciprocity,—their togetherness or complementarity—men and women, and families too, as units are images of God. That is what the image for the African Church as Family of God is about.

Achieving that is our prayer during these three years of focusing on families.