Suicide: A pastoral response

by Editor · August 12, 2015

This week’s column by Fr Ron Rolheiser OMI will resonate deeply with people who have encountered the tragedy of suicide, and also gives support to those who have been at the abyss of ending their lives.

Fr Rolheiser emphasises that most cases of suicide are caused by mental pathology and are not subject to free will. They are the consequence of factors that are beyond that person’s control, much like cancer or heart disease in people with physical pathologies. If the treatment lacks or fails, death may follow.

Suicide usually is not a voluntary act, even if the person planned it with meticulous care. In most cases it is the culmination of emotional pain which those left behind cannot comprehend.

While some people end their lives to evade the consequences of a particular circumstance such as in desperate situations of romance, finance or justice most suicides are brought on by mental disorders. Almost all suicides occur when one’s pain exceeds one’s means of dealing with it.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church proscribes suicide as contrary to love for the living God, and therefore a sin. But the Catechism also shows compassion by explicitly acknowledging the diminished responsibility in suicide if there were grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture (2282). This applies to almost all suicides.

Many Catholics have been brought up to believe that suicide is a mortal sin, and that those who kill themselves are therefore precluded from attaining salvation. But this is not necessarily so.

Clearly, the Church differentiates between those whose suicides are motivated by selfishness, and the great majority of those who commit suicide because they are anguished: We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance (2283).

Nobody, not even priests, should feel qualified to presume God’s judgment in cases of suicide, never mind pronouncing publicly on it.

The salvation of the souls of those who end their lives is God’s business; the Church, however, must take good pastoral care of the bereaved.

Those left behind in a suicide are faced not only with the grief that accompanies all bereavements, but they inevitably will inquire into the past to answer questions that cannot be answered.

Sometimes the lack of answers can lead to wounding second-guessing: feelings of guilt about actions and inactions, about having missed warning signs or being absent in times of need. Every person affected by suicide will return to the question: What if?

They may also experience anger with the person for the pain that has been inflicted, and for breaking the bonds of love with others by perpetrating what often is misunderstood to be a thoroughly selfish act. In most cases, neither response corresponds with reality, nor are they helpful.

It seems necessary that the Church, on any level, should formulate a pastoral response to suicide and the conditions that lead to it.

Firstly, the Church must work hard to diminish the stigma which is still attached to mental conditions, such as clinical depression. Mental illness needs to be understood, and those affected by it must be encouraged to seek treatment without fear of stigmatisation. Parish initiatives, such as the workshop on mental health organised earlier this year by Queenswood parish in Pretoria, merit emulation.

Secondly, some common but outdated preconceptions attached to suicide, such as that its victims may not receive a Christian burial, require forthright correction.

Thirdly, the Church must offer appropriate spiritual care to those affected by suicide. This means that priests and others must be given the training to deal with the grief and trauma that follow the suicide of a loved one, giving emphasis to emotional support and healing, not to insensitivity and debatable reference to sin.

Fourthly, parish communities have a part to play. When a suicide occurs, pastors and community should offer a prayerful response for the repose of the deceased’s soul and for the healing of those who have been left behind.