Let’s Remember Mrs Daswa’s Story

The late Eveline Daswa with her husband Benedict. After her husband’s death she raised their eight children alone.

The section on marriage in the Vatican II constitution Gaudium et Spes is one of the foundation texts on marital spirituality: Spouses are a permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the cross (50).

On the day of Benedict Daswa’s beatification, the gospel reading spoke of the need to carry ones cross in order to follow Jesus Christ. The Marfam marriage reflection for that day invited couples to reflect and share on the crosses they carry in order to build and strengthen their communication and so their relationship.

Bl Benedict himself and his martyrdom were the obvious focus. His mother was present, his children and some of the extended family. But his wife Eveline (Shadi) had already passed on in 2008, to be reunited with her beloved husband. Her life, which was so essentially a part of his, was hardly mentioned.

What struck me was how after the traditional and then civil nuptials, the Daswas Church marriage some years later marked the beginning of his understanding of a special call to holiness, as the text by the Missionaries of the Sacred Heart put it.

Referring to the exhumation of Benedict’s body, his close friend Chris Mphapuli told me how, at the childrens request, the coffin was placed on his widows tombstone for some moments to symbolise their closeness and reunification.

He also explained that it had been suggested that the two would again be buried together in the proposed Daswa shrine. There would be Bl Benedict, the martyr who was murdered for his beliefs, and Eveline, who had carried the heavy cross of losing her supportive husband and friend, bringing up their eight children and keeping the memory of their father alive.

Because of her own painful memories and the hostility of the local community, Eveline had relocated from their home to live in Thohoyandou. She was described as a lovely, humble person, a highly competent teacher, and a member of the SA Teachers Union. Were her 18 years of widowhood maybe a form of martyrdom too?

Although the spirituality of marriage will feature at the Synod of Bishops on the Family beginning on October 4, it is my belief that the Church still has much to learn about this aspect.

Yes, we know and discuss the theology and the teachings in seminaries, theology courses and catechetics, but the beauty of the sacrament of marriage  the theme of the 2015 SACBC Marriage Campaign can be most deeply lived and experienced by couples who have known the joys and sorrows, the fears and anxieties of their sexual sacrament together.

On October 4, which parishes are invited to celebrate as Marriage Day, the reading of the creation story invites a reflection on the essential sexual nature of marriage. Pope John Paul II referred to this as the nuptial meaning of the body. The words of consecration, This is my Body given up for you, and for many, have applied to countless couples and should be understood by all, married or not.

Even to those who recognise widowhood as the last stage of marriage, as I do, these words speak about our calling and vision of a life of faith a life with God and our spouse.

The favour I request through the intercession of Bl Tshimangadzo Samuel Benedict Daswa is for a deeper understanding of the sacrament of marriage which can and should result in a greater commitment. At the same time may it be accompanied with compassion and mercy towards those who suffer. Viva marriage!

For Marfams resources for the SACBC Marriage Campaign, visit www.marfam.org.za. For more information and materials, visit www.sacbc.org.za