Cherish our Grandparents

Celebrating Fathers’ Day recently got me thinking about grandfathers, too. And with the feast of Jesus’ grandpa and granny, Ss Joachim and Anne, on July 26, this is also an appropriate time to celebrate grandparenthood at home and in our parishes.

Even though many children nowadays have parents who have remarried, and so could have four sets of grandparents, there seems to be a dearth of granddads. (Do grandfathers make themselves scarce when they see what is involved or expected of them?)

Some sodalities are open to men and women, but I think the Knights of Da Gama is the only major men’s sodality. This is not quite like the Catholic Women’s League or the Sodality of St Anne, many of whose members are grandmothers and widows. Don’t grandfathers get lonely and feel a need for companionship or to belong in such a group?

Maybe they’re working or would rather be playing golf or bowls or mixing with their contemporaries informally. We know dads don’t like changing nappies, so to expect anything like that from grandfathers is likely just too much!

In many families, grandparents are around for a time before granddad dies, leaving gran as the senior figure in the family. Some of these grandmothers do wield a lot of influence, others are babysitters or surrogate parents without having much choice. What are grandparents’ roles in the modern family?

Traditionally older people were respected because of their age, but nowadays they may be considered a burden, so may want to live their own lives as long as they can. But how valuable they can be! They can have time – something their parents are always chasing.

They can tell stories about the past something modern kids don’t necessarily appreciate because television, videos and DVDs are so freely available. But they can teach about books, read to and with the children they care for. Many of them do that and much more. When younger families lose members through death or divorce, grandparents may be called back into action to help out. Parents often depend on two incomes and children are left in day-care or with grandparents or other relatives.

Having three generations in one home is no easy ride. We may get impatient with older people. But do we treat them as guests, as visitors in their children’s home, or as a real part of the family, involved in family discussions and decisions to which they may have much to contribute?

The following little piece on ten ages of fatherhood perceived shows family relationships across time.

4 years old: My dad can do anything!
7 years: My dad knows a lot.
10 years: He doesn’t quite know everything.
13 years: Dad does not know that either.
17 years: Dad? He’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
21 years: Oh that man is quite out of date!
25 years: He knows some stuff, but not too much.
35 years: Before we decide, let’s get Dad’s opinion.
50 years: What would Dad have thought about that?
65 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.

Like all of us, grandparents give, and take, and receive. If your family doesn’t have a grandmother or grandfather, why not adopt one? Just like there are many orphans, there are grandparents who could do with a dose of TLC. And they may have a lot of love to give in exchange.