Sacrifice is giving of yourself

I was doing some research for an article on the subject of Marriage and the Eucharist, both relevant topics at this time. “Marriage, a commitment for life” is the family life theme for February, and of course this is the Year of the Eucharist.

While doing this research I came across a new insight into the subject of sacrifice, which again is relevant for this season of Lent.

Sacrifice isn’t just meant to be a giving up or doing without, said the writer, but it is an act of self-giving. It represents the self-giving of the Father in the gift of his Son.

Then there is the response of the Son in his humanity to the Father, in the Spirit.

Finally there is the self-offering of believers in union with Christ which makes them share in Jesus’ covenant relationship with the Father.

All very well on a theological level, but how does this apply to us as families at this time?

You know how sometimes a song just comes into your head during the night. I woke up singing the old well-known John Denver hit Annie’s Song to myself: “You fill up my senses like a night in the forest.” And the chorus goes: “Come let me love you, let me give my life to you, let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms. Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you. Come let me love you, come love me again.”

For me that is a sacrificial mentality, the essence of sacrifice possibly. Imagine a husband and wife saying those words on their particular intimate level. But imagine parents too expressing this essence of self-giving. Imagine Jesus expressing the essence of those words, in his total self-giving. Isn’t this the same message as is expressed in the Bible in the Song of Songs?

I attended a training workshop for a Parenting Skills programme recently and it was highlighted how complex this type of giving-my-life relationship is. Parents give till it hurts and mostly children take till it hurts, but they do also give back. What needs to be examined is the degree in which we give and take and how.

Children are highly skilled manipulators. “Dad I have to get to cricket practice, please just run me down in the car.” Son was late and too lazy to walk but dad feels guilty and goes out of his way again and again. Three-year-old throws a tantrum and won’t eat her food. Mom makes a different special snack because she is concerned for the child’s health.

Sacrifice during this Lenten season isn’t just about giving up things we enjoy. The Bishops’ Lenten Appeal certainly needs the money from all the chocolates, cigarettes and cool drinks we are planning to do without, or good deeds we plan to do.

Sacrifice during this Lenten season is also about giving the love that is necessary to live a committed marriage and family life. It is also about making time for relationships, about discipline and family meals, about reconciliation and peace in the home.

It is about making God welcome in the little church of the home as well as growing in our personal relationship with Jesus and identifying with his sacrifice.

During this Lenten season may you strive more and more for your senses to be filled with the life and love of God and of one another.