I don’t know how she does it

What a nice way to start the new year. I don’t go to movies very often, do occasionally watch a movie on TV but find so many films basically immoral, although often funny or clever. This particular one, I Don’t Know How She Does It, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, was both clever and funny, dealing with a very serious family situation in a humorous way and with good moral values.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Greg Kinnear in a scene from I Don't Know How She Does It.

One can’t give the whole plot away but the issue addressed was a pertinent one for this time of the year on the family theme of “New Beginnings”. Many school leavers will be looking for work, many other people choose to change jobs at this time, bonuses having been paid in December. Some will take anything at all, desperate to find work but for many people there is a great challenge of “marrying” work and family life.

At a recent conference with one of the sodalities I asked the question: “Is your sodality more important than your family?” For some it is more so, for some equally so and others wouldn’t entertain such an idea. How we view this question of jobs and family differs from culture to culture, from family to family.

Some people will choose to stay in a place near their extended family, others want to get away, some will break up a family for work, some are forced to do so for financial reasons, while others, usually men are able to take their family along to a new destination, which might be a stress for mothers and the children. Not uncommon these days too is a wife being offered promotion or a special assignment away from home leaving husband and father to mind the nest.

New beginnings of whatever kind need to be carefully thought through and ideally discussed with whoever is involved. Nowadays in most families we no longer impose these kinds of decisions on the younger generation.

“I don’t know how she does it”, or how he does it, for that matter, is also a compliment, expressing admiration for the amazing ability some family members have to achieve what they do. Moms are the ones known to be able to multitask, but others, dads and children too have their own God-given talents, personal abilities and skills to be admired.

I hope that some families are using a technique like the Family Hour I promote so frequently, not as an opportunity to solve problems but to communicate with one another on a meaningful level. Family Hour of course is a recommended weekly activity but the 2012 theme for the year is “Day by Day with God and Family” and so invites a possible deeper spiritual awareness.

February’s theme is “Caring for the Sick”, praying with and for them, ministering to them day by day and always improving our skills. Throughout the year the family themes provide many ways and means to bring God into family life at simple and deeper levels. Watch particularly when we focus on the role of men and parents during May and marriage around September.

Don’t let anyone idly say, “I don’t know how he, or she, or God does it.” The “how” consists of trust, confidence, faith, commitment, energy and love. These can make much happen for all of which we are eternally grateful.

A favourite statement of mine is one by Teilhard de Chardin, referring to energy. He said, “When we truly discover the power of love we will again have discovered fire.” So fire away and let this be the year to shine.