Let others be first in the queue

In earlier columns we talked about God’s ways being very different from ours, and we saw how Jesus came to show us a way of life which differed diametrically to what we are used to. We prefer the “self” to “the other”.

” We are always competing with our fellow human beings. We always want to be the first and do not want to be beaten by anybody else. “

There is a Shona maxim which can be translated as follows: “The song of the drum always says, ‘To me! To me! To me!’ It never says, ‘To you’! or ‘To her!’ or ‘To him!’”

The drum not only blows its own trumpet, but does not want anybody or anything else to trumpet, to be heard, or to be acknowledged. The explanation of the sound of the drum given above sums up the nature of the streak or tendency we call human selfishness.

This tendency to think of self first over everybody else is like a chronic illness which will surface whenever there is a stimulus that triggers it. Human selfishness tends to rear its head whenever we have to pit our wits against another person.

Imagine you are going into your bank, for instance, and you find yourself entering at the same time as somebody else. I bet your inclination will be to out step the other person so that you can join the queue before him or her.

Or, imagine you are driving a car and entering a parking area and you notice there is only one free parking bay, and you see a car approaching from a different direction with the driver eyeing the same parking bay: are you not likely to try to enter the parking bay first?

Human selfishness goes hand in hand with the spirit of competition. We are always competing with our fellow human beings. We always want to be the first and do not want to be beaten by anybody else.

What, then, can we do to counter this tendency? I suggest we develop the godly virtues of selflessness, responsibility for others and delaying gratification.

In my April column (which you can read in the archives of The Southern Cross website) we saw how Jesus deprived himself of the glories of heaven by becoming human and accepting suffering and death for the sake of humanity; and how he resisted the temptation for instant bodily gratification by refusing to turn stones into bread when he was hungry (Mt 4:2-4).

We can learn to develop Jesus’ virtues of selflessness, responsibility for others and resisting instant bodily gratification by practising them in our daily lives.

We can practise these virtues in places like the bank and the road, for instance. The next time you are joining a queue in the bank or elsewhere, and you see somebody hurrying to join the queue before you, forego the temptation to compete and let this person go before you.

Take another scenario: You are driving on the highway and there is a car in front of you. You come to a set of traffic lights and both you and the driver in front of you have to stop. As the lights turn green, you want to proceed and cross to the other side, but the car in front of you does not move immediately.

If you are like me, then you might begin to privately curse the other driver: “Come on man! What’s the matter now? Why is this car not moving?” If the other driver takes a second longer before he or she moves, your adrenalin begins to rise, you are agitated, and you feel like literally shouting at the driver!

Take yet another case: You are a nurse and you are looking after a very sick patient whom you have to wash every morning.

On this particular morning you find he has soiled himself and the sheets are smelly, and you are tempted to scold him and call him by all sorts of names. Or you may be looking after an orphan and one morning you find that she has wet herself, and your first reaction is to shout at her and spank her.

In all these cases you are called upon to practise selflessness, care and responsibility for the other person, and to be in the habit of resisting the temptation for instant gratification.

The person who is hurrying to join the queue in the bank may be genuinely needing to get out of the bank without delay; the driver at the junction may be experiencing problems with his car; the patient who has soiled himself or the orphan who has wet herself may genuinely have been physically incapable of helping himself or herself.

We all have soiled ourselves with our sins, but Jesus sacrificed himself to wash away our dirt.