At Easter, let go of grudges

BY ANTHONY GATHAMBIRI IMC

When is Easter not yet Easter? I suggest it is when we fail to forgive; when we celebrate Easter loaded with the baggage of bitterness. It’s not Easter for us when we bear grudges, because Easter is about resurrection. And it’s in resurrection that we ought to rise again from the death of acrimony and vengeance. At Easter we have to leave behind the hurts and anger in our past and move on with the risen Lord.

Forgiving those who have wronged us can be difficult, especially when it is our own who have betrayed or disappointed us — our children or parents, siblings, colleagues, communities. It can take a while for us to let go and move on.

Easter is the pinnacle of our year as Christians. What an opportunity to rise from our past! And yet, Easter can come and go without any impact in our lives.

It is at Easter that we renew our baptismal promises. And in the profession of faith, we proclaim: “I believe in the forgiveness of sins.” In the sacrament of reconciliation, having made our full confession and performed the appointed penance, we expect God to forgive our sins.

And still one can hear good Catholics say things like, “I will never forgive him because of what he did to me.” As Christians, following the risen Lord, we can’t say that. We have to let the Lord intervene. We have to allow the Lord to transform us to be forgiving people.

On Easter Sunday, we share the bread of Christ in the Easter Mass, just as we do in any other Eucharistic celebration. The saying goes that we become what we eat, but we can’t be what we eat if we don’t forgive.

When we avoid shaking hands with that person behind us during the sign of peace, it’s not yet Easter for us; when we can’t attend a Mass because our in-laws will be there, it’s not yet Easter; if we can’t receive Communion from a certain minister and so avoid their queue, it’s not yet Easter for us.

In all areas of our lives, but especially as Catholics, we have to rise from the all too common culture of blaming and complaining. Even in our deepest hurts or hottest anger, we must know that it will not be night, ever. One day it will be okay.

Jesus on the cross, having been sentenced to an excruciating public death and brutally scourged, forgave his tormentors. Is that not amazing? Jesus is the perfect model of forgiveness, and as his followers we must follow him in that respect, too. To be a Christian requires us to do our best to imitate Christ every day; and part of that package is to forgive our trespassers.

Christ, who tells us that he came so that we may have life and have it to the fullness, is risen. If we want to live a life without bitterness and vengeance, we have to invite him to our lives. We shouldn’t be afraid to tell him who our enemies are and ask for the grace to forgive them.

And if that is too tall an order even for many a good Catholic, then there are the more tangible benefits of forgiveness.

Holding on to grudges is bad for our health, physical and mental. The deeper the feelings of acrimony are, and the more we plot and yearn for settling scores, the more stress we inflict upon ourselves.

If you have sleepless nights because you are angry with somebody, or replay the point of rupture in a relationship, or plot ways of getting even, then you have a problem — and if the person who wronged you wanted to hurt you, then they have already won, no matter what happens.

Easter for many means receiving fabulous chocolates and other gifts. But the greatest Easter gift, to ourselves and to those who have hurt us, is the liberation from bitterness, anger and hatred.

After the resurrection Christ keeps saying: “Peace be with you.” May this Easter be a time of making peace, within ourselves and with others.