Can I be Best Man in a Non-Catholic Wedding?
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Question: My friend, who is an observant Protestant, has asked me to be the best man at his wedding. Are Catholics allowed to play such a role in a formal ritual in a church that isn’t Catholic?
Answer: Assuming that neither your friend nor the bride are Catholics, you are free to serve as an official witness, or best man, at their wedding.
This situation is addressed specifically in “Principles and Norms on Ecumenism”, a document issued by the Vatican in 1993. It states: “Members of other churches or ecclesial communities may be witnesses at the celebration of marriage in a Catholic church. Catholics may also be witnesses at marriages which are celebrated in other churches or ecclesial communities” (136).
Not only is your participation permissible, it is laudable because it demonstrates a Catholic’s belief in the validity of that marriage and prayers for its success.
If, however, either the groom or the bride is Catholic, the answer becomes more complex. It may be that such a couple has received permission from the Catholic Church to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony. If, for example, the groom is Catholic and the bride Protestant, permission is often granted for the wedding to be held in the bride’s church.
On the other hand, if one of the spouses-to-be is Catholic and no such permission has been secured, then the question becomes not so much a legal one but theological and pastoral. By your participation you could well be giving scandal by signifying that you approve of such a marriage — which would not be a valid marriage in the view of the Catholic Church.
In such a case, the better course would be to sit down with the couple, explain with kindness and honesty the reason for your reluctance to participate in a formal capacity, and encourage them to have the marriage approved by the Catholic Church before the Protestant ceremony takes place.
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