How My Granny Shaped My Life

By Tlalane Manciya  – As I look back at my life, I can identify people with whom God has blessed me, for specific reasons in all seasons. Those people have influenced my actions, behaviours, beliefs, values and attitudes.

Who I am now and how I am is the accumulative result of blessings, prayers, love, disappointments and teachings from various people, from teachers to mentors, from friends and family, all of whom God provided to help me become the person I am at this present moment.

However, there is one person who has had a more decisive influence on me than any other: my maternal grandmother. I can trace parts of my life that are still attached to her in ways that she is still influencing who I am and who I am yet to be. The Church’s World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly is a good time for me to pay tribute to my grandmother.

I was ten years old when my grandmother died. It was the first time I cried over the loss of a loved one. As young as I was, I knew the void she left. I knew how deep the loss went, for the first time I felt the pain of death. She died, but her spirit and her teachings never did. I might have been young when she passed on and she might have been old, but however brief her presence was in my life, it was enough to touch me and stay with me forever.

Prayer is the answer to all

My gran’s name was Ntombizodwa Constance Williams, but she was affectionately known as Ouma Konie. Born in the Eastern Cape in 1905 in the village of Tsolo, she knew from an early age that she wanted to work with people, to help them and to influence their lives. One of the main things that is deeply ingrained within me is how she instilled prayer as the answer to everything.

As I grew up, I learnt from Ouma Konie’s life which holds lessons through her struggles and joys, in how to conquer situations in life, and trusting God even when situations look dire.

As a person who always looked for opportunities to help others, she left her family and everything she knew and relocated to the farms of De Doorns in the Western Cape. There she got a job as a farm worker, a role she took even though she was a qualified teacher. She didn’t complain or feel that the world owed her. It was the life she had chosen and she was grateful for it. She taught in the mornings without any pay, and in the afternoons, she worked in the vineyards.

From Ouma Konie’s example, I have learnt to never complain about any situation, but to trust God and find the positive side of things. I see it as a tribute to my grandmother. She embraced her blessings and her burdens.

Love for animals

Her love and kindness also extended to animals, a reflection of her heart and respect for God’s creation. Ouma Konie taught me that kindness to animals is godly, and caring for them is part of our purpose. My involvement in animal rescue is influenced by the love she had for animals.

Ouma Konie was a staunchly devout Catholic. Her life modelled how we must love God above all things, and love our neighbours as we love ourselves. She sacrificed what she could to help others. Those in need would go to her, and she would help where she could.

One of her skills was sewing, and she made dresses for the children at the farm. As small as her house was, Ouma Konie welcomed everyone if they needed somewhere to stay until they got their own place. She always said that the little you have, you must share with others.

Her life has enlarged my vision of God, who always does things in abundance. My grandmother taught me so much about life, hard work and being grateful for what I have.

Awarded by the pope

On October 18, 1975, my grandmother was awarded the Bene Merenti medal by Pope Paul VI, in recognition of what she did for the community at large. She used the talents God gave her to help and share with others, and that inspires me to try and be something great every day, to wake up and live my greatness, and to never give up on my dreams and goals, using the talents God gave me to help and share with others.

Ouma Konie was a fighter until God called her home. Even when she was sick and her health weakened, she never stopped finding ways to help others. She passed away at the age of 86 on December 20, 1991, after a long fight with breast cancer.

Her favourite words were, “Ungabalibali abasweleyo”, which means: “Do not forget those who are in need.” These are words I do my best to live by as I strive daily to honour my grandmother’s memory, in the way I choose to live and love. Ouma Konie’s legacy will live on in me and the many lives she touched.

Published in the July 2024 issue of The Southern Cross magazine