It’s not inside, it’s on top

You may remember the famous ad for a brand of coffee creamer: “It’s not inside, it’s on top!” Reflecting on some events in my life in the light of that saying, it wasn’t difficult to conclude that for real and deeper meaning, things need to be inside, not on top.

I had a nasty experience: I was held up at gunpoint, was bitten on my fingers to get my rings off, and because of the bites had to get medical attention that included an anti-retroviral HIV/Aids drug.

You can react to such trauma but still take much in your stride, unless you stop and reflect a little more deeply.

For many years in the course of my work as a school teacher, RE teacher and family minister, I have talked about HIV/Aids. Some of my deepest reflections were published in the booklet Aids Strikes At The Heart, and I think I’ve been pretty aware of the realities of the subject, but when something touches you personally it demands new insights.

Mine is a low-risk case, and because of the drugs even lower, but I now belong to a different category of people. I have to have bloodtests over the next few months, and I can’t give blood right now. I have to undertake to take medicine even when I don’t want to, and put up with the side-effects of a drug that makes you feel worse rather than better.

One insight I have acquired is a deeper awareness of the psychological and emotional impact of HIV/Aids on one’s behaviour and relationships. For example, how would I feel if tests indicate that I really have been infected? Would I disclose this? How would it feel to be sexually involved with someone who is infected? Would I be able to forgive an unfaithful partner who is infected? How would I feel about the possibility of passing on the virus to an unborn child?

Another insight was the realisation that the John 10:10 passage: “I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full” does not only refer to joyful occasions, but that every life experience adds to the fullness of life and the potential for deepening one’s relationships, including with God.

This may sound trite or sentimental, but I feel a different sense of solidarity with fellow-affected ones. I am by no means a sufferer, even though I am a victim. All I have to offer is deepened understanding and compassion, and an awareness of urgency for a particular kind of action.

I think it is important to challenge immoral behaviour, build and strengthen family relationships and share that family life. On election to the chair of Peter, Pope Benedict XVI challenged us all: “May the Lord infuse such a love also in me so that I will not remain calm in face of the urgencies of the proclamation of the Gospel in today’s world. The Church by her nature is missionary; her primary task is evangelisation. The ecumenical Second Vatican Council dedicated to missionary activity the decree Ad Gentes, in which we are reminded that ‘the apostles themselves, on whom the Church was founded, following in the footsteps of Christ, preached the word of truth and begot churches.’ It is the duty of their successors to make this task endure ‘so that the word of God may run and be glorified (2 Thessalonians 3:1) and the kingdom of God be proclaimed and established throughout the world.”

That kind of love and urgency for the gospel can only come from “inside,” never “on top”. May the Blessed Trinity, our model for a family relationship of total loving commitment bless and guide our families in this task.

“Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I love and thank you every minute.”