Backaches in June after libertine holiday

It was still during my early months at St Stephen’s parish, in the township of Kisenso in Kinshasa, capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo. To familiarise myself and to learn where our parishioners live, I made turns to visit the Small Christian Communities (SCCs)—we have 21 of them.

One Thursday evening I arrived at an SCC, just as the chairperson was introducing the theme of that day’s reflection: International Women’s Day. I wondered why they would be talking about it only at this time; it was already three weeks after March 8. They must be behind, I thought.

In fact, they weren’t; they were evaluating the day. And the conclusion would be quite alarming.

They began by recapturing what they understood by International Women’s Day, as well as its importance. Then each person shared what they saw on that day. Here are some of the observations.

Already, the days leading up to March 8 kept tailors in their shops day and night due to the overwhelming number of orders. It’s like every woman wanted to come out in a new outfit, all of them in liputa, considered the traditional women’s outfit. It is constituted of a loin cloth, a top and veil. Every female, from child to adult, dressed the same way.

In fact, if you allow a digression, one of our parish flower girls came to my office to tell me that her parents were unable to buy her the liputa. She feared, if she would not come out like a “woman” on that day others would laugh at her. So, March 8 was marked by a special dress for women.

Other observations were that women went out to celebrate in drinking places just among themselves. They didn’t go with their husbands, who were supposed to remain home to do the chores the women do all year round. In fact, around this time journals carried caricatures of men doing the cooking and the cleaning in the home while women were out to celebrate their day.

Although at the beginning women apparently wanted to be just among themselves, some reportedly seemed to be more welcoming after emptying a few glasses. Celebrations that had begun in groups composed exclusively of women ended up in company of men who were not necessarily their husbands. This was one concern highlighted at the SCC meeting.

Another concern was that many girls stayed out till late; some are said even not to have returned home that night while the following day schools were remarkably empty of girls. For many women, much leeway was assumed.

A big question was raised concerning guest houses. Even those that habitually are on the hunt for guests, on the night of March 8 they were reportedly fully booked. This situation prompted a question: wouldn’t it be true to say that many so-called guest houses were turned into brothels, at least for that night?

When I was listening to such sharing in the SCC, I certainly didn’t take everything that was said at face value. In the nature of such things, this was not a research conducted with scientific rigour. It was just the initiative of the Commission for Christian Families that made tours of a few selected townships in Kinshasa to observe how the day for women was celebrated, and how it impacted families. Later the commission proposed its findings to the SCCs for reflection.

Among these findings were cases of conflicts between husband and wife in some families, arising from the manner the day was celebrated.

Markedly, the commission seemed to be overwhelmed by the gratuitous behaviour of young girls—so much so that it felt encouraged to make a sweeping conclusion, advising parents: “knowing what happened on this day, if your daughter complains of backache in June, don’t waste time—take her to the clinic for a test.”

The conclusion was certainly overdrawn. However, at the same time, it only indicated the levels of alarm caused by the observed behaviour on that day.

Wouldn’t there be more constructive and fruitful ways of observing important commemorations such as International Women’s Day?

And with Women’s Day coming up in South Africa in August, how is the Church preparing for that?