An excellent guide on the journey of grief

by Gunther Simmermacher · February 16, 2013

WHY DO YOU WEEP: Finding Consolation and Peace in Times of Grief, by Larry Kaufmann CCsR, Sean Wales CSsR and Russell Pollitt SJ. Liguori Publications (2012). 80pp.� ISBN: 978-0764820779

Reviewed by G�nther SimmermacherIn his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says that those who mourn are blessed because they will experience comfort (Mt 5:4). There is indeed something salutary in experiencing the comfort of God and of fellow human beings in our darkest hours.

In the revised, international edition of a book published in South Africa in 2010, Redemptorist Fathers Larry Kaufmann and Sean Wales with Jesuit Father Russell Pollitt hope to bring the mourner �in contact with the compassion of Jesus�.

Their compact book is intended to help guide the mourner through the process of grief by offering reflections, prayers and some insights from experiences. In this, the authors are akin to spiritual directors on the pilgrim journey towards healing from bereavement. They don�t pretend to have all the answers, but they are firm in their faith that we can find the answers in God.

When we grieve, they write, we �find ourselves in the dark silent tomb of Holy Saturday�, and that is a necessary place to be for a while. But the tomb is empty: those whom we have lost are in the loving embrace of God, and it is there where we must seek them.

Why Do You Weep is not a self-help book that promises instant relief. Still, in one chapter Fr Wales proposes a spiritual four-step programme for mourning. It comprises the act of accepting mourning, rituals, scriptural reflection and prayer. Fr Kaufmann fleshes this out with an emphatic reminder of God�s infinite love.

In just 80 pages the book covers all sorts of situations of bereavement, including that which follows crime and suicide. It offers advice on letting children grieve � a dimension to bereavement that is often neglected and rarely understood � and how to reconcile with an estranged family member or friend after their death.

The concepts of Why Do You Weep are grounded in profound theology and pastoral experience. The authors communicate these in immediately accessible terms.

Appropriately they do so gently and with compassion, and thereby qualify as excellent companions on the road of grief.