Pray with the Pope: Old Age is a Good Thing

Intention: We pray for the elderly, who represent the roots and memory of a people; may their experience and wisdom help young people to look towards the future with hope and responsibility.

Now that I’m getting into my seventies, I’m more and more in favour of the traditional African view that age is a good thing! People address me as Mdala, or “old man”, all the time these days — and I take it as a compliment!

I do hope that this traditional idea outlasts the fashionable cult of the worship of youth so prevalent in our Westernising world. Even the wording of the intention betrays a hint of that worldview — the word “elderly”. No one ever gets old these days it seems! We only get “elderly”, even if we make it to 100. Let’s face it, “elderly” is simply a euphemism for “old”, so I suggest we try to reclaim “old” for the English language!

Age in Africa is good not only because the old person normally possesses the wisdom of experience but also because he or she is closing in on the ancestors! The old, in some African cultures, are seen as creating a vital link between the world of the living and the world of the living dead.

Since how the ancestors are feeling is extremely important for the lives of those living in the here and now, it is in our interest to be nice to the old uncle or auntie, grandfather or grandmother, who might soon be joining them. So, in contrast to the Western view, the old person is seen not as being on the way out and fit to be relegated to a care home but rather as on the up towards the powerful company of the ancestors. They are therefore to be given home-based care, attention, love and respect.

Future intercessors

We have a kind of equivalent of this in our Catholic faith when it comes to a really wise and holy old person. Since we are convinced that this person will soon be in the company of the Lord and his saints, and will therefore be an intercessor, we show that person a special kindness and respect. As a priest put it in a recent eulogy at the funeral of a very distinguished deceased confrere: “He won’t be spending eternity in retirement!”

Good relationships between young and old do not happen automatically. After all, for a young person, old age is a long way off, and what the old speak about doesn’t seem relevant and may strike them as boring. It obviously depends on the young person being open and able to listen. It also depends on the old person being able to actually engage with the youngster. How not to be a bore — that’s one of the challenges of old age. Perhaps Voltaire’s dictum needs to be kept in mind: “The surest way to be a bore is to say everything”!

As an adolescent, I knew an old religious priest in the boarding school where I was studying. He would stop and chat to me when we met. He could be quite formidable and ask searching and disconcerting questions, but I enjoyed this because he was actually interested in me and my fellow students. He took us seriously and listened to our opinions. Occasionally he would let drop pearls of advice, some of which I still take.

One could even pull his leg. The old priest loved drama and crises. On one occasion I asked him how he was doing. He told me that his life at that moment was chockfull of crises. I took a chance and said that I supposed that therefore he must be having a most wonderful time! He chuckled at my cheeky remark and admitted that I was absolutely right!

May such relationships flourish in our Church and our world.