Roll out those crazy, hazy days of summer

There is that old Nat King Cole song buzzing around in my head that goes: “Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer,” and it continues, “the days of soda and pretzels and beer.”

In South Africa that might be days of sunshine, braais, booze and shop till you drop, with not much of the lazy days till after Christmas, when we drop from exhaustion.

Doesn’t it seem as if there are far too many of the crazy days, and not enough of the hazy, lazy days? And no doubt we need the latter, in a positive sense of course. The crazy is not just the mid-summer madness of happy healthy fun in the sun, but also often involves too much drink and unruly, or promiscuous behaviour as the party-spirit overtakes men and women, and boys and girls.

And hazy might well be an alcoholic haze, as I believe it is an uncomfortable truth that deep down in our society drinking is condoned and not condemned as it should be. A drug-induced haze too is a nightmare many families contend with.

It is still early in December. We are in the middle of a period of 16 days of activism against women and child abuse. World Aids Day was celebrated on December 1, and while we are not all personally affected or infected, as a society we are all affected economically and socially.

This year’s theme was Women and Children affected by HIV/Aids and I must confess that it saddens me to see this focuses only on women and children. Admittedly women and children are more vulnerable, but what is the context? Are they not abused or infected or abandoned and rejected by men? And does that not make men a party to the problem? Are men necessarily guilty and women innocent? Wherever there is a question of gender there are two genders involved, whether one is an abuser and one a victim or not. A family-friendly view would ask: in what ways are families and their members affected, and in what ways can the needs of these families be addressed?

There certainly is no simple answer. Violence does not come out of the blue. It results from unmanaged conflict and is often alcohol-related. Strengthening family relationships is just one response.

When I was reflecting on the closing of the International Year of the Family and the theme of parenting, and looking ahead to 2005 for which I have chosen the theme “Families Love Life”, I came across the call of Moses in Deuteronomy: “I put before you good and evil, life and death. Choose Life.”

That is the theme of the Advent and Christmas programme for families by Marfam. Reflecting on how each of four biblical families did or did not choose life in their relationships, and then on the life of the Holy Family we are led to ask: “How in our family do we choose life? Is our family a holy family?”

Nine days before Christmas in South Africa we observe the Day of Reconciliation. There are many areas where reconciliation is required, not only racial or political. I believe that the attitude of reconciliation cannot really start “out there” with someone else’s problem, but we could make a peace novena in our own homes too, going to confession and especially making peace with one another.

Although we tend to run around like crazy and sometimes our patience does wear thin, there is an attitude of goodwill around what could be harnessed, and what better gift than peace can we give one another on the birthday of the Prince of Peace. So to use the words of another song, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”

In that way you will best enjoy the lazy hazy crazy days of summer and wish that summer could always be here.

My wish to all readers and their families: May the Spirit of Peace and Joy be present in your homes and families this Christmas and into the New Year. May we as families join hands and offer our support as we share the Spirit of Peace and Joy with one another.