St Monica: A Survivor of GBV

By Laurika Nxumalo – St Monica, who is the mother of St Augustine of Hippo, is venerated for her unwavering faith, extraordinary patience, and commitment to the spiritual welfare of her family. Her life story, which is often overshadowed by that of her son, is a powerful testimony to the strength and endurance of women who face challenges. St Monica’s experiences provide a peculiar lens through which to examine the complex realities of gender-based violence (GBV) and the role of faith in addressing it.

Born in North Africa in the 4th century, St Monica was married to Patricius, a Roman pagan known for his infidelity and being short-tempered. Patricius abused Monica both physically and emotionally; however, Monica endured this suffering with patience. Despite the societal norms that oppressed women, Monica did not become bitter, rather she turned to prayer and devotion, with the hope that one day her husband would change his ways.

Monica’s endurance of domestic abuse highlights the historical context of gender-based violence. During her time, society has normalised such abuse, thus expecting women to silently endure the pain. However, Monica’s response of turning to prayer ultimately influenced her husband to change — Patricius converted to Christianity shortly before his death, and he became a more loving husband. This illustrated the power of prayer and having faith.

Even though many women globally can relate to St Monica’s story, her patience should not be romanticised as passive submission. St Monica’s era offered few options for women to escape abusive situations – today’s society is called to offer ways for women (and at times men) to unchain themselves. The Catholic Church, alongside other faith communities, plays a critical role in addressing GBV. The Church promotes the dignity of every human being and advocates for justice and healing.

Catholic teaching affirms the equality of men and women in dignity and value. Pope John Paul II’s Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women) emphasises the need to honour and respect women and condemn all forms of violence and discrimination. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2334) states that men and women are “equal in dignity” and called to mutual respect and love.

St Monica’s life offers a model of spiritual resilience but also highlights the need for systemic change. Her reliance on prayer and faith can inspire modern efforts to provide spiritual and emotional support for survivors of GBV. However, faith communities must go beyond prayer to actively engage in efforts to prevent GBV, support survivors, and challenge the cultural and structural roots of violence.

Churches should provide awareness on the dynamics of GBV (such as human trafficking), emphasising that abuse is unjustified, and that all people are deserving of respect and safety. Churches should offer safe spaces, counselling, and resources for those experiencing violence, ensuring that victims receive practical assistance.

St Monica is often invoked as the patron saint of mothers, wives, and those who endure suffering for the sake of others. Her example calls us to action. It is not enough to admire her endurance; we must work to create a world where such endurance is no longer necessary. This involves breaking the silence around GBV, supporting survivors, and building a culture that unapologetically fights for justice, equality, and the inherent dignity of every person. In honouring St Monica, we are reminded that prayer and faith are not passive – they are a call to justice and personal and societal transformation.

Let St Monica’s life inspire us to be agents of change, working toward a world where every person can live free from violence and fear.

St Monica – Pray For Us

Prayer for victims of human trafficking

Ms Laurika Nxumalo is a member of the South African Council of Churches (SACC) Women’s Forum representing the SACBC. She is also the Archdiocesan Secretary of the Archdiocese of Pretoria and Pretoria’s SACBC Laity Council Representative